She had forgotten the price she had paid for this relationship.
She had already been involved with him when he suggested hooking her up with someone else. "Sure," she said, smiling. After all, she was manic, and the more conquests that summer, the better.
The problem was when she stayed involved with both of them. The one knew; the other was madly in love. So of course it ended badly when she could no longer contain the secret. "We'll tell him when the time is right," she had been told, but the right time never came after three months. So, in anger, she had spilled the secret that killed the friendship.
Actually, HE had killed the friendship, by not telling the whole truth, even when most of it was revealed. As more came out, the friend left.
He had just recently unblocked her from his instant messenger, and the sight made her heart ache. For while she was seemingly allowed to talk to him again, he never responded. She wondered if he collected her words at night and dissected them for hours before sleep, as he used to. She wondered what he thought of her, if he still loved her. She hoped not, for his sake. But it seemed that was the case.
The meeting earlier in the night with her future stepmother-in-law reminded her that maybe things could have been different with the friend. What if she had chosen him? He surely would have taken better care of her financially. He had a better job, and seemed like he would be more willing to split things according to income, not just 50/50, as she loathed now. Maybe, as in love as he was, he would have kept her on that pedestal and treated her like a queen.
She knew it wouldn't be perfect, of course. All this speculation just meant she was bored and wanted change -- which might indicate another manic phase. At least these meds kept her from the depression. It was the fickleness she couldn't stand.
She had already been involved with him when he suggested hooking her up with someone else. "Sure," she said, smiling. After all, she was manic, and the more conquests that summer, the better.
The problem was when she stayed involved with both of them. The one knew; the other was madly in love. So of course it ended badly when she could no longer contain the secret. "We'll tell him when the time is right," she had been told, but the right time never came after three months. So, in anger, she had spilled the secret that killed the friendship.
Actually, HE had killed the friendship, by not telling the whole truth, even when most of it was revealed. As more came out, the friend left.
He had just recently unblocked her from his instant messenger, and the sight made her heart ache. For while she was seemingly allowed to talk to him again, he never responded. She wondered if he collected her words at night and dissected them for hours before sleep, as he used to. She wondered what he thought of her, if he still loved her. She hoped not, for his sake. But it seemed that was the case.
The meeting earlier in the night with her future stepmother-in-law reminded her that maybe things could have been different with the friend. What if she had chosen him? He surely would have taken better care of her financially. He had a better job, and seemed like he would be more willing to split things according to income, not just 50/50, as she loathed now. Maybe, as in love as he was, he would have kept her on that pedestal and treated her like a queen.
She knew it wouldn't be perfect, of course. All this speculation just meant she was bored and wanted change -- which might indicate another manic phase. At least these meds kept her from the depression. It was the fickleness she couldn't stand.
