Once upon a time there was a fluffy bunny named Roger. Roger really liked to eat peppers - hot peppers. Now, unfortunately, the only place that he could get these peppers (jalepenos were his favorite) was at the top of the nasty old witch's mountain. The top of the mountain was much too cold for Roger to bounce up, because his paws were too tender from the thorns that precede the path from the meadow where Roger slept, to the mountain. Every day, Roger had to do his carefully planned out exercises that would slowly prepare him for the obstacles he needed to pass to get his peppers. Slowly, over many months, Roger started to reach his goal of "steel callous paw" and soon it would be time for him to begin his trek to reach the mythical peppers he craved. One day, it was a Monday, Roger knew he was ready. He took with him only a cross-bow (to defeat the evil witch's monkey guards) and he started hopping. To fight the boredom and the pain, Roger sang his favorite song to himself, "Ra ra Ah ah ah, Gaga oh la la!". Yes, Roger was obsessed with Lady Gaga. Just like everyone else in his godforsaken meadow. He had all crescendos in order. Eventually, he made it to the foot of the mountain. The peak towered over him like a nasty substitute teacher. Roger put his game face on & took his crossbow out. Unknown to him, the witch was watching Roger in her crystal cube, as balls had gone out of fashion. She ordered 20 monkeys to demolish him. Unfortunately, they misheard her, and instead heard polish. When they got to Roger, they effectively deflected his arrows and began painting his toenails. When they finally left, Roger was the most beautiful rabbit in the land, with his dazzling "passion magenta." Overcome with jealousy, the witch started throwing anything she could find down the mountain at Roger. Coincidentally, everything she threw was only another asset to Roger, such as the peppers she threw. These invigorated Roger, and made him climb even faster because of all of the endorphins that were being released throughout his body. Soon, he reached the top, and he was so hopped up on endorphins that the witch was rendered powerless against the shiny happiness bursting forth. He quickly ate all the peppers, and became so fat that he had to roll down the mountain. Now as we know, spicy foods accelerate the heart rate, so Roger died almost instantaneously. The end.