for my own mental health, and the ability to pay for the equipment needs in the business that I want to make my life long career. Even then, I don't want to settle down and retire, I want to keep running that business till I run myself six feet under.

So what part of all that good will, hard work, dedication and integrity pays off? When can I go and tell my mother she can be proud? When can I skim my business costs and humble living expenses off and give up the rest to people who really need it? Because all I really want is my career, the people I love and to see people who have passion like mine flourish.

Of course, I may just be a failure. But I'm not going to accept that.