August 18th, 2010 1100am
I guess its safe to say I don't sleep much. Usually every other day. Its something I want to change about myself, but I just can't seem to make it work. Its not like changing your hairstyle or your shoes. i try to sleep, instead i end up just lying there or sitting on the edge of the bed looking through the dark at you as you sleep. you look so peaceful and i wonder what you are dreaming about. i think to myself, how fortunate I am to have you there, next to me, breathing the same air as me. i wonder if you know that i really do appreciate you. that i try to make valid efforts to not ever take you for granted because you're such a genuine person--im sure you've been taken advantage of your whole life.
and i wonder if you even know that, or if you even care.
it eases my mind to tell you what im thinking or how im feeling. and i know you think im weird because you tell me so. and even though you find me strange i know that its still okay. maybe you find my quirks as part of my charm. i cant really be sure. im also not sure if you know why i tell you those things and sometimes when its 5 am and i still haven't shut my eyes, i look at you and wonder if you know that i talk to you, not to make my worries your own, but because i know that no matter what it is i come up with, you'll still think im alright. theres a glimmer of confusion in your eyes most of the time with me, but ive never seen a spot of rejection or a flicker of fear from within you. that means a lot to me. then, as the night sweeps the stars under the lawn & dusk ferments duly into day i curl up beside you and you wrap your arms around me & when i grasp your hand and i can still feel that kindness flowing through your body and into my palm.
I think to myself, im glad that i dont sleep. im glad that just lying next to you...knowing that youre here, with me, is enough.
I guess its safe to say I don't sleep much. Usually every other day. Its something I want to change about myself, but I just can't seem to make it work. Its not like changing your hairstyle or your shoes. i try to sleep, instead i end up just lying there or sitting on the edge of the bed looking through the dark at you as you sleep. you look so peaceful and i wonder what you are dreaming about. i think to myself, how fortunate I am to have you there, next to me, breathing the same air as me. i wonder if you know that i really do appreciate you. that i try to make valid efforts to not ever take you for granted because you're such a genuine person--im sure you've been taken advantage of your whole life.
and i wonder if you even know that, or if you even care.
it eases my mind to tell you what im thinking or how im feeling. and i know you think im weird because you tell me so. and even though you find me strange i know that its still okay. maybe you find my quirks as part of my charm. i cant really be sure. im also not sure if you know why i tell you those things and sometimes when its 5 am and i still haven't shut my eyes, i look at you and wonder if you know that i talk to you, not to make my worries your own, but because i know that no matter what it is i come up with, you'll still think im alright. theres a glimmer of confusion in your eyes most of the time with me, but ive never seen a spot of rejection or a flicker of fear from within you. that means a lot to me. then, as the night sweeps the stars under the lawn & dusk ferments duly into day i curl up beside you and you wrap your arms around me & when i grasp your hand and i can still feel that kindness flowing through your body and into my palm.
I think to myself, im glad that i dont sleep. im glad that just lying next to you...knowing that youre here, with me, is enough.
