Would ANY girl my age do such a thing? It's sad how this is something I think about. Can sex still be playful and fun in this innocent way. I'm not sure what the answer is, partially because law school is the worlds best impediment to getting laid I've ever encountered. I want to say the answer is no, though. I believe that sex can still be playful and fun. To me, that just seems intrinsic to sex. And I love that. But the real question, I think, is whether it can still be playful and fun in that innocent tone. Everyone out there seems to have a ton of experience, which isn't really a bad thing. It's not like I'm a fucking virgin mary here. But that kind of innocent fun is, well, fun. It's different.
Now, all playfulness is probably of the "naughty" sort. The kind where we all think and know this has to do with sex and are more or less confident in ourselves. Whereas before, it wasn't that we didn't know it was all having to do with sex. It was more like, we were still discovering what we were doing. There was more overlap between being a stupid teenager and having sex. Silly little things like liking a boy on the cheek after he came in your mouth. It's surprising and funny and endearing. And I just don't know if that kind of thing still happens. OR will happen.
I'm fully ready to say, and I hope this is true, that all of these feelings of impending adultism and the lack of innocent childish playfulness has to do with law school and my for real looming adulthood. Things like rent, bills, jobs, qualifications, how will this relationship or that thing affect the next year, 5 years, decade, or life? All of that kind of builds up, and it's new, and I think it maybe crowds out the fun. That the childish fun and playfulness, even with an innocent tone, is still around and still happens, even in sex, and that one day in the future I will get licked on the cheek again and laugh in surprise. And I really truly hope so.
I remember reading in some article bitching about generation Y (my generation, what a stupid name, same with millenials) that someone once said something along the lines of, and I'm paraphrasing greatly here, "to be in one's twenties is to be great and terrible. So many opportunities and so much potential before you. One never feels so old as in one's twenties". The quotes are just to demarcate the supposed paraphrased quote. Sometimes I think that quote nails it. I feel myself looking and straining for the past that is out of grasp and the impending future full of opportunities I don't want to fuck up. It's scary and amazing all at the same time.
Now, all playfulness is probably of the "naughty" sort. The kind where we all think and know this has to do with sex and are more or less confident in ourselves. Whereas before, it wasn't that we didn't know it was all having to do with sex. It was more like, we were still discovering what we were doing. There was more overlap between being a stupid teenager and having sex. Silly little things like liking a boy on the cheek after he came in your mouth. It's surprising and funny and endearing. And I just don't know if that kind of thing still happens. OR will happen.
I'm fully ready to say, and I hope this is true, that all of these feelings of impending adultism and the lack of innocent childish playfulness has to do with law school and my for real looming adulthood. Things like rent, bills, jobs, qualifications, how will this relationship or that thing affect the next year, 5 years, decade, or life? All of that kind of builds up, and it's new, and I think it maybe crowds out the fun. That the childish fun and playfulness, even with an innocent tone, is still around and still happens, even in sex, and that one day in the future I will get licked on the cheek again and laugh in surprise. And I really truly hope so.
I remember reading in some article bitching about generation Y (my generation, what a stupid name, same with millenials) that someone once said something along the lines of, and I'm paraphrasing greatly here, "to be in one's twenties is to be great and terrible. So many opportunities and so much potential before you. One never feels so old as in one's twenties". The quotes are just to demarcate the supposed paraphrased quote. Sometimes I think that quote nails it. I feel myself looking and straining for the past that is out of grasp and the impending future full of opportunities I don't want to fuck up. It's scary and amazing all at the same time.
