I'm not sure why, but I still can't seem to move on. It's like this unknown force dragging me back to the start every time I reach the end, it drags me back to the start. It's like every time I run away, every time I try and hide, it finds me. I'm stuck at a certain point, a certain time, I can't move and it's eating me up.
Every time I close my eyes, I remember the memories of the not so distant past. I remember the oldest memory to the newest. I recall the first and last and I regret it every time. I keep asking myself when I'm going to stop putting myself through this hell but I can't seem to let go. It's like I'm holding on just to punish myself. For what..? I'm not really sure, but it feels like it was wrong to have fallen in love.
...
I regret ever meeting you. I know it wasn't your fault I met you. We just couldn't help it. It's like it was meant to be. I regret ever falling for you. That way, I wouldn't be hurting like this. I wouldn't be torn apart if I hadn't met you. I loved you, I just wasn't sure if that was enough. I never thought I'd actually fall for you, we always talked about our lack of ability to commit. I didn't think we'd be able to look past that and last that long. I guess that was before, I still wonder though. Would it be possible for it to be "us" again..? Would it be possible to go back to before..? To be able to go back to when we loved each other. The times when we talked all night, laughed and do everything together, I only wish for those things now.
I hope you someday you'll know how it felt. To cry yourself to sleep every night. To dream and wake up and realise it wasn't going to happen. To wake up every single day and not have anything to look forward to. You used to make me smile. You taught me how to love.
They told me to let go of you, but how can I, when you're the one reason I have to love.
Why can't you understand that I can't let you go..?
...
Every time I close my eyes, I remember the memories of the not so distant past. I remember the oldest memory to the newest. I recall the first and last and I regret it every time. I keep asking myself when I'm going to stop putting myself through this hell but I can't seem to let go. It's like I'm holding on just to punish myself. For what..? I'm not really sure, but it feels like it was wrong to have fallen in love.
...
I regret ever meeting you. I know it wasn't your fault I met you. We just couldn't help it. It's like it was meant to be. I regret ever falling for you. That way, I wouldn't be hurting like this. I wouldn't be torn apart if I hadn't met you. I loved you, I just wasn't sure if that was enough. I never thought I'd actually fall for you, we always talked about our lack of ability to commit. I didn't think we'd be able to look past that and last that long. I guess that was before, I still wonder though. Would it be possible for it to be "us" again..? Would it be possible to go back to before..? To be able to go back to when we loved each other. The times when we talked all night, laughed and do everything together, I only wish for those things now.
I hope you someday you'll know how it felt. To cry yourself to sleep every night. To dream and wake up and realise it wasn't going to happen. To wake up every single day and not have anything to look forward to. You used to make me smile. You taught me how to love.
They told me to let go of you, but how can I, when you're the one reason I have to love.
Why can't you understand that I can't let you go..?
...
