I hate it. I'm living in my bubble. I used to be able to do whatever I wanted, not a care in the world. The world was my oyster. My bubble kept me safe and let me be whoever I wanted to be. Now, my bubble is just one sad little safety mechanism. It lets me do whatever I want, but yet, I'm not happy. I hate it, I miss who I was before. I miss that girl who couldn't care less, who had nothing, that girl, who'd never loved.

My life seemed to have changed hugely and rapidly ever since i met him. It's hard to say I've moved on when some days, he's all I think about. I just felt so free before. Now, it always feels like I'm never fully satisfied, like I'm never fully happy. It sucks to say that I need a person. I hated being dependent on people emotionally. It feels like holding on grass on the edge of a cliff. It feels hopeless and that you're basically depending on that patch of grass to save your life. It feels like running and reaching out for the finish line, only to trip over your laces. It's such a hopeless feeling. I didn't think I'd feel this way for this long.

I had thought I'd broken free of the loneliness. But, in all truth, I haven't. All I've done is hide from it, ran away. I've only been avoiding it, distracting myself as to forget it. Pretending it never existed worked, but sadly, it was only temporary. Ugh. Recently, constant indifference and anger is all I've been feeling. It's this annoying feeling in my heart that I can't get rid of. It's a heavy, draining feeling in my heart. It's an empty void.