No more hugs. No more contact. Not with anyone. Because that is where the trouble started. That is where the little bit of light came from. If I don't reach out, then none of you can reach me. None of you can hurt me. I will be safe again. Still alone. But safe.

You tell me I'm amazing. I tell you I am not.

What I am is ugly. Broken and ugly. This is why I am never enough. How can anyone else really love me when I cannot love myself? Why should anyone else value me when I see no value in myself? I pursue impossible things because I do believe I deserve possibilities. I fall for what I cannot have because I do not believe I deserve anything.

This is the truth of me.
You don't want me because I don't want me. Unaware, you still see the shattered heart of me.

I am not looking to be saved or fixed or completed. Not really. What I want is to be understanding... but I don't think I deserve that either.

How many times can you break your heart before the pieces are too small to break or care anymore?