An account of that first fall of college - 2010
However it is not a complete nor extremely detailed account as I begin it on november 17th.
Today I skipped modern III. This would be the first college class I have skipped this term (or ever so far). I skipped because of horrible cramps that got in the way of my desire to exercise. I feel very guilty for skipping dance because I think I am also going to skip my other modern III class today at 4:30. :( How could I not exercise. I really could grit my teeth and go to class, take some ibuprofen and get the hell out of my bed. Unfortunately I am lacking all motivation and am feeling very weak and sickly, the thought of high intensity anything sounds quite undesirable.
lately I have no wish to go out and do anything. I know it sounds miserable, but all I want to do is lie in bed and wallow and wish I was still in my relationship. Thats all I want. I didnt want it to end. I had no wish for it to end. So why is it over? and why do i feel so confused and completely unhappy..why does it seem like he's so much happier with this situation than I am. I thought he loved me? so why does it seem like everything is so much more in favor than mine. I feel manipulative and horrible but somehow i want him back to me. Even though we are still hanging out and doing stuff. its werid and I dont like it. So does this mean I dont talk to him until he contacts me and it becomes obvious he misses me and wants me back?
However it is not a complete nor extremely detailed account as I begin it on november 17th.
Today I skipped modern III. This would be the first college class I have skipped this term (or ever so far). I skipped because of horrible cramps that got in the way of my desire to exercise. I feel very guilty for skipping dance because I think I am also going to skip my other modern III class today at 4:30. :( How could I not exercise. I really could grit my teeth and go to class, take some ibuprofen and get the hell out of my bed. Unfortunately I am lacking all motivation and am feeling very weak and sickly, the thought of high intensity anything sounds quite undesirable.
lately I have no wish to go out and do anything. I know it sounds miserable, but all I want to do is lie in bed and wallow and wish I was still in my relationship. Thats all I want. I didnt want it to end. I had no wish for it to end. So why is it over? and why do i feel so confused and completely unhappy..why does it seem like he's so much happier with this situation than I am. I thought he loved me? so why does it seem like everything is so much more in favor than mine. I feel manipulative and horrible but somehow i want him back to me. Even though we are still hanging out and doing stuff. its werid and I dont like it. So does this mean I dont talk to him until he contacts me and it becomes obvious he misses me and wants me back?
