how could i ever think this was a good idea?
the mind sees what it wants to see.
but i guess this is better than feeling nothing
it must be

foolish, foolish girl. oh but i want you i want you i want you

is it a crime to want, to reach for something else that makes me feel less of a stranger? i am adrift. cold. wooden. and the first time i want anything with such strength of feeling, the first time i was willing not to let life pass me by but to hold on to it, it is an impossible dream, the sort of fancy i'd told myself i wouldn't fall for.

so alone, beloved. i am a desert, bald and ugly like a naked knee.

take this waltz take this waltz
take this waltz it's been dying for years

take it please

wont you please take its broken waist in your hands?

to whom will i speak of my thorns and my briars, of this pain that arose on a hot afternoon and still lives within me?