another day.

what will you say to me?

the same thing as every time. i know, i know. a nod and a smile and a look that's both uncertain and telling.

*

i've had enough of this fool's venture, of this half life. i am ridding myself of you. i've waited again and again and it is fruitless and hopeless and lonely here in this desert of the soul

am i not beautiful? am i not interesting?
i am brought low and betrayed as if i had no charms at all

i will go out and get drunk and scratch all my itches and regret it afterwards

dance dance dance

but i will stop this wanting.