voice, and I did not want to read his words. I just wanted to be left alone, and the only way I could accomplish that was to pretend. It was sickening. It was tiring. But in the end, it was the only way I knew how to deal with my current situation. I did not want to be with him, but I did not want to hurt him. I wanted him to listen, but he could not do that.
I turned to Facebook, instead. My profile picture was of us together, but that was just as fake and empty as cuddling with my fuck-buddy. Almost immediately after signing on, I got into a conversation with a friend in a different state. Inevitably, our conversation turned to him. It always did, because the break up was consuming my life. It was all I had to report on except for the anonymous sex and class.
Him: What exactly happened to start all of this, again?
Me: Do you really want to get into this...like do you have the time?
Him: Uhhhh
Me: Too late; the story has begun
So my estranged sister got into contact with me after graduation. I really needed him, and I knew he was at a party. I understood why he didn't answer, but it didn't change the fact that I needed him and he wasn't there. That is a big hazard of being in a long distance relationship...and that was my wake up moment. I needed the weekend to rethink where I was in life and my priorities. I asked him for a break, because if we were still together, he would be the only thought in my head. There wasn't anything else, and it wasn't going to be permanent. I explained all of this and do you know what his reaction was? He cried. He actually cried, until I gave up. He couldn't give me what I needed because of his own insecurities and that was a BIG wake up call.
It took me almost a week to talk him into the break, and the next day his grandfather died. So I took us off the break, and I was there for him, because he needed me, and my personal needs could wait.
Then my college orientation came up. He decided to "subtly" try to test or manipulate me or whatever. He gave me the break I had asked for. He told me I had a carte blanche
I turned to Facebook, instead. My profile picture was of us together, but that was just as fake and empty as cuddling with my fuck-buddy. Almost immediately after signing on, I got into a conversation with a friend in a different state. Inevitably, our conversation turned to him. It always did, because the break up was consuming my life. It was all I had to report on except for the anonymous sex and class.
Him: What exactly happened to start all of this, again?
Me: Do you really want to get into this...like do you have the time?
Him: Uhhhh
Me: Too late; the story has begun
So my estranged sister got into contact with me after graduation. I really needed him, and I knew he was at a party. I understood why he didn't answer, but it didn't change the fact that I needed him and he wasn't there. That is a big hazard of being in a long distance relationship...and that was my wake up moment. I needed the weekend to rethink where I was in life and my priorities. I asked him for a break, because if we were still together, he would be the only thought in my head. There wasn't anything else, and it wasn't going to be permanent. I explained all of this and do you know what his reaction was? He cried. He actually cried, until I gave up. He couldn't give me what I needed because of his own insecurities and that was a BIG wake up call.
It took me almost a week to talk him into the break, and the next day his grandfather died. So I took us off the break, and I was there for him, because he needed me, and my personal needs could wait.
Then my college orientation came up. He decided to "subtly" try to test or manipulate me or whatever. He gave me the break I had asked for. He told me I had a carte blanche
