guy after guy, day after day, and i am just tired. who knew that i would ever get here? not here, where i live, no, but where i am. in life i mean. who knew that one day i would actually get tired of dating and going out with different guys. My intentions werent to just date, but the only way to know if someone is right for you is to try them out, right? so who is there to say that i made a mistake? or who can say that i did the right thing? maybe if i caged myself into my room and entertain myself with my books the whole time i would not be saying these. but who knows? if i did that, i could be saying why i did? or why did i prisoned myself in my room and never explored the outside world?
well, to be honest with you i have no idea which way is the way to go! but all i know is that at this time and place, i am done with exploring. I am bored of dating guys who are either so lame, so boring, or such perverts. I am bored of wasting my time with guys who are so confused they dont even know it. i am bored of spending my time with people who do not even know what they are looking for in life. Its not that i know what i am looking for, but at least i am not clueless. at least i know that at the end of the day i want to be home, i want to spend the rest of my life with one person and only one. i know that i want to be responsible and i know that one day that will happen. at least i know. but knowing is not always the solution to my problems. there is always another side to each story, and this is my side.
I am tired of trusting people. I am tired of thinking that every person on this planet is as sain and i am. i am tired of looking at people with a kind heart and giving them the benefit of a doubt. I am tired of people who keep disappointing me.
some people say that i have to try my choices and give people chances to meet with me and get to know me, but god, it is such a waste of time. dont get me wrong, i would probably do the same thing, but how many guys do i have to try and give chances to, untill i find the right person?! or better say, who is the right person?
People tell me that i need a break. from what? yes, from guys. but the truth is, that i never look for them, the minute i decide to take a break and be on my own, guys start flowing! from right and left! what am i suppose to do? should i listen to people who tell me i need a break, or the ones who say i should try my choices!?
nobody told me that it would be this hard to live in this world! but i am sure i will figure it out. i know i will. you will too. just follow your gut feelings and dont trust everyone you see.
cheerz!