Diary Entry #1: The Day that Never Comes
I don't really like to talk about myself or my problems. You're always more screwed up than you think you are. So what about me? If there's anything I've ever known, it is this: I am dead inside. No, I'm not kidding. I'm like, dead serious. What is it with me and death anyway?
I never wished to be born. Plain and simple. I never asked Lordy Jesus to create me or make me human. If anything, I would have asked Him to make me a tiger. Yeah, a tiger. Or a lion. They're both cool. Whatever. It's not like I care anyway.
Hah, religion. What the heck is religion anyway? You should look at my mom. Now that is a fanatic. No, Mother, I do not want to attend Mass on Sunday mornings. No, Mother, I have enough Holy Bibles to fill up my room. Yes, Mother, all I want to do in life is play Xbox and eat pizza.
What has God given me? Nothing, that's what. Oh yeah, a stupid brother. He's such a hypocrite. "Yes, Mom, I will attend Mass with you this weekend." And he spends the entire night before texting his girlfriend, telling how much he freaking loves her.
Stupid love and stupid girlfriends. They should all go to hell anyway. Oh, I'm so sorry, Mother, I shouldn't utilize those words in a formal setting.... But who gives a....
(Insert profanity here.)
I've had a couple of girlfriends here and there, but I just hate women. They're just too damn complicated.
But when it comes to her.... now that's a different story. She is the one who did me in. I don't think love really exists, but she's the closest thing to it I ever experienced.
And then she left me. Because I had too many issues. Because I was too damn depressing. Because I was too fat. Because I wasn't good enough. Because I didn't treat other people right. Because I wasn't a good person. Because we simply didn't... flow.
"Flow?" Was she going all freaking existentialist on me? What the hell is flow? All that mattered was that I freaking loved that woman, and yet she played me like a fool. She said to me, "I can't love you for who you are until you love yourself." It was a phone call. She hung up and never looked back.
Hah, loving myself for who I am. That's only for rich people, right? I don't have issues. I'm not messed up. But my parents keep taking me to see the freaking psychiatrist. Tell me to take my freaking medicine. They're just wasting their time.
I don't really like to talk about myself or my problems. You're always more screwed up than you think you are. So what about me? If there's anything I've ever known, it is this: I am dead inside. No, I'm not kidding. I'm like, dead serious. What is it with me and death anyway?
I never wished to be born. Plain and simple. I never asked Lordy Jesus to create me or make me human. If anything, I would have asked Him to make me a tiger. Yeah, a tiger. Or a lion. They're both cool. Whatever. It's not like I care anyway.
Hah, religion. What the heck is religion anyway? You should look at my mom. Now that is a fanatic. No, Mother, I do not want to attend Mass on Sunday mornings. No, Mother, I have enough Holy Bibles to fill up my room. Yes, Mother, all I want to do in life is play Xbox and eat pizza.
What has God given me? Nothing, that's what. Oh yeah, a stupid brother. He's such a hypocrite. "Yes, Mom, I will attend Mass with you this weekend." And he spends the entire night before texting his girlfriend, telling how much he freaking loves her.
Stupid love and stupid girlfriends. They should all go to hell anyway. Oh, I'm so sorry, Mother, I shouldn't utilize those words in a formal setting.... But who gives a....
(Insert profanity here.)
I've had a couple of girlfriends here and there, but I just hate women. They're just too damn complicated.
But when it comes to her.... now that's a different story. She is the one who did me in. I don't think love really exists, but she's the closest thing to it I ever experienced.
And then she left me. Because I had too many issues. Because I was too damn depressing. Because I was too fat. Because I wasn't good enough. Because I didn't treat other people right. Because I wasn't a good person. Because we simply didn't... flow.
"Flow?" Was she going all freaking existentialist on me? What the hell is flow? All that mattered was that I freaking loved that woman, and yet she played me like a fool. She said to me, "I can't love you for who you are until you love yourself." It was a phone call. She hung up and never looked back.
Hah, loving myself for who I am. That's only for rich people, right? I don't have issues. I'm not messed up. But my parents keep taking me to see the freaking psychiatrist. Tell me to take my freaking medicine. They're just wasting their time.
