This is just the beginning of something, I am told. This is just beginnings, but what if its the beginning of nothing? What if this is just going to decline and descend into nothing but a pit of despair and solitude. That's where I feel I am now. This rut that I am in, it would seem so much better if you could be here with me. But still I'm alone. We go through all these different experiences in a day, all these changes every minute of every day, and still I am the same. Unusual. Every second of lost breath wasted on every hope and fear that you will return to me. Why were you everything, why were you all.