none of the stuff i write is to make anyone angry.it's NEVER about anyone specific unless i mention a name...i love my friends..all of them
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i fucking can't deal with this shit. it's legit making me ill. I'm getting so sick of everything. school.finals.missing Chris.wanting my friend to stay.missing my mommy. ALL of it is making me sick. like really. I'm 15 i do NOT need this much stress in my life.
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i love him. i do. I've said it out loud now. just not to him....i had a shock today. i thought (still do think) he said it today over ooVoo. but i don't know. i freaked out. i just hung up. i didn't know what to do. should i have said it? i wasn't even sure if i did (i do btw) love him. i nearly started to cry. what if he was mad that i didn't say it? what if he hadn't meant to say it?
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three more days till i see Chris. the missing him has nearly gotten unbearable. just hearing his voice or seeing his face makes me happy...but knowing that i can't hug him makes my stomach ache.
i need to see him..i just need to.we ooVoo nearly every night but it's not the same. i actually had a dream about him last night (well I've had quite a few but...) . we went to the movies,nothing major or extravagant necessary. it was perfect.
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i have been studying WHAP for 5 hours straight. i am so exhausted. i nearly passed out after my run.i miss Chris.i feel sick.i miss Sammi.i miss my mommy.
sometimes i just want to go to sleep and never wake up.then i could see my mommy. but then i couldn't see Gram or Poppa or Casey or Sammi or Fania or Chris or Kat or MOnty ever again(or until they died,i guess...) i feel sick and sleepy.i feel like my eyes will fall out if i read another sentence. i feel like crap. i feel like i need a sleeping pill.i feel like i need a drink...but i won't have either of those last two,promise.....goodnight
............
i fucking can't deal with this shit. it's legit making me ill. I'm getting so sick of everything. school.finals.missing Chris.wanting my friend to stay.missing my mommy. ALL of it is making me sick. like really. I'm 15 i do NOT need this much stress in my life.
..............................................
i love him. i do. I've said it out loud now. just not to him....i had a shock today. i thought (still do think) he said it today over ooVoo. but i don't know. i freaked out. i just hung up. i didn't know what to do. should i have said it? i wasn't even sure if i did (i do btw) love him. i nearly started to cry. what if he was mad that i didn't say it? what if he hadn't meant to say it?
......................
three more days till i see Chris. the missing him has nearly gotten unbearable. just hearing his voice or seeing his face makes me happy...but knowing that i can't hug him makes my stomach ache.
i need to see him..i just need to.we ooVoo nearly every night but it's not the same. i actually had a dream about him last night (well I've had quite a few but...) . we went to the movies,nothing major or extravagant necessary. it was perfect.
..................................
i have been studying WHAP for 5 hours straight. i am so exhausted. i nearly passed out after my run.i miss Chris.i feel sick.i miss Sammi.i miss my mommy.
sometimes i just want to go to sleep and never wake up.then i could see my mommy. but then i couldn't see Gram or Poppa or Casey or Sammi or Fania or Chris or Kat or MOnty ever again(or until they died,i guess...) i feel sick and sleepy.i feel like my eyes will fall out if i read another sentence. i feel like crap. i feel like i need a sleeping pill.i feel like i need a drink...but i won't have either of those last two,promise.....goodnight
