I had a thought earlier this afternoon. I was browsing some photos on a random page and I realized how much I didn't want to go out and socialize because the people I see are the same ones. Everybody says that the world is in a constant state of flux. However, I am beginning to doubt that. Maybe the flux they're pertaining to is in the natural world; we all know a river never stops flowing, the wind is always changing direction, and the world is always turning, never being the same minute after minute. Here is the problem: does flux only ever apply to natural phenomenon? And when I say natural, I am referring to the environment and the natural order of things. This can apply to human beings too. Our hair is always growing, our cells are dying and being replaced, and our brains are always firing signals. But are we heeding these neuro-signals? Or are we so stubborn about our present realities (unpleasant and otherwise) that we desperately cling on to whatever we already have?
Everything seems to turn into routine. I'm tired. So very tired of the life that I am living, day in and day out. Most people would tell me to make a change, do something out of the ordinary but you see, that is precisely the sort of thing I expected them to say. There are no more surprises, just one string of predictable events after another. The only change there is the order of things but really, EVERY DAY IS EXACTLY THE SAME. Maybe this is why I fervently wish to be afflicted with some exotic, somewhat life-threatening disease. Getting violently ill would be a sharp jolt, a nice, electric shock of change that I didn't expect. I would be bedridden and used as a human pincushion and I would not mind a bit. It would be different.
I want to run away to some country where nobody knows my name. Where not a single soul has even the remotest idea that I exist. My face is foreign, my voice, they've never heard. I want to see people I have never seen before. People who know none of my friends, where the word "mutual" does not apply.
Or maybe I just need a hug and a cookie.
Everything seems to turn into routine. I'm tired. So very tired of the life that I am living, day in and day out. Most people would tell me to make a change, do something out of the ordinary but you see, that is precisely the sort of thing I expected them to say. There are no more surprises, just one string of predictable events after another. The only change there is the order of things but really, EVERY DAY IS EXACTLY THE SAME. Maybe this is why I fervently wish to be afflicted with some exotic, somewhat life-threatening disease. Getting violently ill would be a sharp jolt, a nice, electric shock of change that I didn't expect. I would be bedridden and used as a human pincushion and I would not mind a bit. It would be different.
I want to run away to some country where nobody knows my name. Where not a single soul has even the remotest idea that I exist. My face is foreign, my voice, they've never heard. I want to see people I have never seen before. People who know none of my friends, where the word "mutual" does not apply.
Or maybe I just need a hug and a cookie.
