I've never been a terribly religious person. My Father grew up Catholic, my Mother Jewish. As such, my sister and I grew up in a home where we didn't go to church OR to temple. Around winter time we would have a Christmas tree that would cast scratchy shadows on the wall at night from our lit menorah. During spring we would color eggs and go visit our Mom's family to celebrate passover. Our parents always supported us to choose what religion we wanted. As a result, I became more or less Agnostic. While I do believe that there is a good chance of a higher power, I don't feel the need to define it. However, with the wide Christian influence of the Western world I grew up in, I suppose I've always had some subconscious reckoning of Heaven and Hell. But I've never thought much about it.
I'm a generally good person. I try to be nice to people, I've never hurt anyone, and I lead a good life. However, I know that by several (most, in fact) branches of Christianity, this is not enough. I've done things that the Bible may condemn as sin. Most importantly, I'm not dedicated to the scripture of God, I've not been baptized, etc. This had never bothered me, as I've always assumed that if there is a Heaven and Hell, I'll be judged on my deeds, and not on semantics.
The other night, however, I had a nightmare. The world was ending, in the form of a massive flood, and the whole world knew what was happening. Some people panicked, others shouted "I told you so"'s, and some quietly accepted it. And as it began, I sat in my dinning room with my family, and for some reason, a priest was there as well, taking refuge from the storm. We sat in silence, listening to the sounds of the rain beating on our roof. I peered out the window and watched a river slowly fill the street. I felt terror fill my chest and I started to cry.
"Am I going to go to Hell??" I demanded of the priest, shaking him by the shoulders. I was hysterical. He stared at me, eyes sad and regretful.
"You're a good person," he said. "You've led a good life and have nothing to be ashamed of." he sighed and shook his head. "But by the laws of my religion... I'm afraid you are." He looked truly sorry, and he held me as I sobbed. When I woke, I felt numb, and strangely disappointed in my subconscious.
I'm a generally good person. I try to be nice to people, I've never hurt anyone, and I lead a good life. However, I know that by several (most, in fact) branches of Christianity, this is not enough. I've done things that the Bible may condemn as sin. Most importantly, I'm not dedicated to the scripture of God, I've not been baptized, etc. This had never bothered me, as I've always assumed that if there is a Heaven and Hell, I'll be judged on my deeds, and not on semantics.
The other night, however, I had a nightmare. The world was ending, in the form of a massive flood, and the whole world knew what was happening. Some people panicked, others shouted "I told you so"'s, and some quietly accepted it. And as it began, I sat in my dinning room with my family, and for some reason, a priest was there as well, taking refuge from the storm. We sat in silence, listening to the sounds of the rain beating on our roof. I peered out the window and watched a river slowly fill the street. I felt terror fill my chest and I started to cry.
"Am I going to go to Hell??" I demanded of the priest, shaking him by the shoulders. I was hysterical. He stared at me, eyes sad and regretful.
"You're a good person," he said. "You've led a good life and have nothing to be ashamed of." he sighed and shook his head. "But by the laws of my religion... I'm afraid you are." He looked truly sorry, and he held me as I sobbed. When I woke, I felt numb, and strangely disappointed in my subconscious.
