They say that siblings, sisters in particular, have a habit of comparing themselves to the other, and to feel jealousy. At times, I find that this is true. My sister Kate and I didn't really get along when we first met. Kate enjoyed causing me grief, and I was easy to grieve. She would constantly think of new and creative ways to poke me and poke me until I erupted with a shrill cry of "KAAATIEEE!" with a red face and white-knuckled fists at my side. She would just laugh, ah, ambrosia.
As we got older, a mild truce was formed, and eventually some form of friendship. She still annoys the hell out of me from time to time, but I've learned to keep my irritated cries to myself, lips tight and throat working as if still screaming her name in frustration. The only problem was that I day dream, a lot. If I'm not talking, my brain is going, creating fanciful stories and imagining what would happen if I pushed that woman into the fountain behind her. My mind is an entertaining place. And it was only recently that I've realized, Kate has the life that I, in many ways, dream about.
She's a fit girl, and popular with the boys. She could form an entire country with the boys that drool after her like dogs to a butcher's front window. Kate is outgoing and crazy. And while I do travel and backpack around the world, Kate outdoes me by speeding away to backpack in the wilds of Africa and the bustle of India for months and months.
Me? I'm not exactly beating them off with a stick, and while I'm certainly entertaining in my own right, I'm not nearly as loud or boisterous as my sister. Kate is athletic and creative in her own right, a pastry chef that builds beautiful cakes and a journalistic writer with a way with words. And at times, I'm so jealous I feel it burning in my gut.
Worse yet, I'm so horribly embarrassed of myself that I could BE jealous. I've always been fairly content with myself, and damnit, I AM happy. I'm smart, I paint, I write, I sing, I have a good life. To be jealous of my sister is futile and silly.
And my sister's life isn't all candy and sunshine. She can be selfish in her pursuit of traveling, calling in my parents to help her buy plane tickets that even they can't afford. Often times she thinks only of herself. And she juggles boys in a way I would never want to. I lo
As we got older, a mild truce was formed, and eventually some form of friendship. She still annoys the hell out of me from time to time, but I've learned to keep my irritated cries to myself, lips tight and throat working as if still screaming her name in frustration. The only problem was that I day dream, a lot. If I'm not talking, my brain is going, creating fanciful stories and imagining what would happen if I pushed that woman into the fountain behind her. My mind is an entertaining place. And it was only recently that I've realized, Kate has the life that I, in many ways, dream about.
She's a fit girl, and popular with the boys. She could form an entire country with the boys that drool after her like dogs to a butcher's front window. Kate is outgoing and crazy. And while I do travel and backpack around the world, Kate outdoes me by speeding away to backpack in the wilds of Africa and the bustle of India for months and months.
Me? I'm not exactly beating them off with a stick, and while I'm certainly entertaining in my own right, I'm not nearly as loud or boisterous as my sister. Kate is athletic and creative in her own right, a pastry chef that builds beautiful cakes and a journalistic writer with a way with words. And at times, I'm so jealous I feel it burning in my gut.
Worse yet, I'm so horribly embarrassed of myself that I could BE jealous. I've always been fairly content with myself, and damnit, I AM happy. I'm smart, I paint, I write, I sing, I have a good life. To be jealous of my sister is futile and silly.
And my sister's life isn't all candy and sunshine. She can be selfish in her pursuit of traveling, calling in my parents to help her buy plane tickets that even they can't afford. Often times she thinks only of herself. And she juggles boys in a way I would never want to. I lo
