21/6/11 I wish I was really good at just one thing. More I wish I was good at and ENJOYED just one thing. But I'm not particularly good at anything and worse I find almost everything tedious. Fuck.
Why can things in reality be as fantastic as the things in my head?
I look out a window and what I see is a typical suburban Australian landscape. Houses, Gum trees, road, power lines and a couple of garbage bins left out on the curb, Doesn't seem very fantastic, or extraordinary.
I want to see houses made from glass and ginger bread, dragons hanging from the power lines and rummaging through the bins. A few flying saucers heading off to work maybe a pink duck or a well used trebuchet sitting on the curb waiting for a new owner.
I know in the long run seeing all those things would just become normal. and to be honest, if I saw any of those things I'd be even less inclined to venture out into the world.
You may have noticed I left people out all together. Please mess with me. I don't understand them, I don't understand me. I feel broken. I seem to have been given the wrong instructions, because as hard as I try, I just don't seem to work. Which brings me back to the first paragraph on this page. A need to be good at something, and fuck.
Not to worry, tomorrow is another day. I will be both the same and different. All decisions and dreams of today will fade and I will be born anew in emptiness and listlessness.
Good night.
Why can things in reality be as fantastic as the things in my head?
I look out a window and what I see is a typical suburban Australian landscape. Houses, Gum trees, road, power lines and a couple of garbage bins left out on the curb, Doesn't seem very fantastic, or extraordinary.
I want to see houses made from glass and ginger bread, dragons hanging from the power lines and rummaging through the bins. A few flying saucers heading off to work maybe a pink duck or a well used trebuchet sitting on the curb waiting for a new owner.
I know in the long run seeing all those things would just become normal. and to be honest, if I saw any of those things I'd be even less inclined to venture out into the world.
You may have noticed I left people out all together. Please mess with me. I don't understand them, I don't understand me. I feel broken. I seem to have been given the wrong instructions, because as hard as I try, I just don't seem to work. Which brings me back to the first paragraph on this page. A need to be good at something, and fuck.
Not to worry, tomorrow is another day. I will be both the same and different. All decisions and dreams of today will fade and I will be born anew in emptiness and listlessness.
Good night.
