I don't think I ever should have married her.
I love my kids.
I likely spend too much time and energy trying to reconcile the aforementioned statements.
For the second straight Sunday, I took the girls to church and left her at home. (Last week, she needed to catch up on work. This week, she was feeling under the weather.) Instead of attending the main sermon, I opted to visit a small group class on "sacred marriage." I made it through four of the group's eleven discussion questions before I had to leave. I left because I didn't see myself or my marriage in the group's conversation - and I didn't deem it prudent to discuss my experiences. No one there spoke of marrying out of obligation or resignation or apathy. No one talked about the prospects of a marriage devoid of joy.
"I just wish things were different," she told me a few days ago. You and me both, sister.