I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that life with me stresses you so.
I'm sorry for the things I do that annoy you.
I'm sorry for the things you do that annoy me.
I'm sorry that you don't understand my work, my hobbies, or my beliefs.
I'm sorry that you hate to be alone.
I'm sorry that you don't understand my desire to be alone.
I'm sorry that I don't understand your parents -- or that I do understand them.
I'm sorry your friends have failed to meet your expectations again.
I'm sorry I have to listen to you complain about your job -- again.
I'm sorry your boss is incompetent and inconsiderate. I'm sorry your co-workers are sycophants. I'm sorry that this limits your job prospects.
I'm sorry you couldn't keep your mouth shut long enough to keep the job that paid you twice as much as your current one.
I'm sorry the therapy didn't work.
I'm sorry I'd rather work late than come home to you early.
I'm sorry I can't fuck you without thinking about someone else.
I'm sorry you can't deal with not being the one true love of my life. Or number 2. Or number 3.
I'm sorry you used the marriage as an escape from a job you were bound to lose, anyway.
I'm sorry I believed your lies.
I'm sorry I left a good job and a better city for you.
I'm sorry I married you.
I'm sorry for presenting the facade of a happy couple to my friends and family.
I'm sorry I didn't make you take the ring back every time I realized that I didn't want to marry you.
I'm sorry I didn't immediately say no when you proposed.
I'm sorry I slept with you.
I'm sorry I'm sorry I let you wedge yourself into my life when I wasn't ready.
I'm sorry I sacrificed time with my family for you.
I'm sorry I sacrificed time with myself for you.
I'm sorry I put my career in jeopardy for you -- on more than one occasion.
I'm sorry I broke up with a wonderful woman for you.
I'm sorry for flirting with you.
I'm sorry that I didn't run away when I saw you coming.
I'm sorry I ever met you.
But I know I'll never leave you and you'll never leave me, so I'm even sorrier that I have to write this.