When will I ever escape this fear? It's a constant ghost following me around everywhere, watching everything- waving hello everytime I look over my shoulder to see if it has parted ways with me. Poverty is a burden, a predisposition, a trial and very hard to control.

It makes you delusional, like you actually aren't broke. So you go and buy things you can't afford and watch other things rack up. You internalize it and move on and let it incubate. Then, in an all outward, full-frontal attack- you freak out.

I. Am freaking out.