My eyes hurt... I really should get off of the computer and go to bed because it's 9:30 and god the time flew.
I'm glad I got to stay home today because I really wasn't feeling well. My father bribed me with new headphones if I went to school which is extremely unethical in my opinion. I regret staying at home a little bit but only because I want new headphones.
I messaged Tara today and she didn't respond. I don't know if I'm being borderline creepy or just being nice. Probably a bit creepy, and I'm pretty sure I already screwed up. I didn't really talk to her at all this week, and when I did she didn't respond. My point really is that I pretty much fucked that up and I really need to find someone else to creep out and chase after. But I don't think that's going to be until summer when I can go through long periods where I don't see her, and I don't even know if she's going to live here anymore. Again, it makes me angry and a bit sad that I'm hearing all of these terrible things that she's going through from Camara. I can't say or do shit about it. I really do care for her. That's the worst part.
I remember Tara asking me why I didn't chase after Bella. Which plagued the dreaded thought into my mind and I had a little bit of a relapse. Ooooppss. Oh and it's been 7 weeks now. Yes I have been counting. Considering who I cut out of my life I have a right to count the weeks; the girl I was in love with for more than 3 years. I hate the fact that if I ever speak to her again everything that I feel would just come out and I would have a mental break down and in the end I would probably beg for her to be with me. She would say no and I would be heartbroken and that would be the 3rd time that has happened to me. It's pathetic really.
I feel tired right now and I have my period. No wonder I was in such a bad mood. Every time I get my period I don't notice that I'm either depressed or bitchy until after the fact. And then think, "Oh, well that makes sense."
I'm glad I got to stay home today because I really wasn't feeling well. My father bribed me with new headphones if I went to school which is extremely unethical in my opinion. I regret staying at home a little bit but only because I want new headphones.
I messaged Tara today and she didn't respond. I don't know if I'm being borderline creepy or just being nice. Probably a bit creepy, and I'm pretty sure I already screwed up. I didn't really talk to her at all this week, and when I did she didn't respond. My point really is that I pretty much fucked that up and I really need to find someone else to creep out and chase after. But I don't think that's going to be until summer when I can go through long periods where I don't see her, and I don't even know if she's going to live here anymore. Again, it makes me angry and a bit sad that I'm hearing all of these terrible things that she's going through from Camara. I can't say or do shit about it. I really do care for her. That's the worst part.
I remember Tara asking me why I didn't chase after Bella. Which plagued the dreaded thought into my mind and I had a little bit of a relapse. Ooooppss. Oh and it's been 7 weeks now. Yes I have been counting. Considering who I cut out of my life I have a right to count the weeks; the girl I was in love with for more than 3 years. I hate the fact that if I ever speak to her again everything that I feel would just come out and I would have a mental break down and in the end I would probably beg for her to be with me. She would say no and I would be heartbroken and that would be the 3rd time that has happened to me. It's pathetic really.
I feel tired right now and I have my period. No wonder I was in such a bad mood. Every time I get my period I don't notice that I'm either depressed or bitchy until after the fact. And then think, "Oh, well that makes sense."
