I decided that I'm not going to fall for her again. It's the most logical thing to do and my mother told me today, "to go with my gut". My gut is telling me to not try and see her again. While my heart is screaming at me to tell her. However I'm just going to wait it out.
Even though I did write her a pathetic e-mail that I never sent. Here it is:
'Fuck.
I love you.
I'm not going to spew out stupid ass cliches for you to explain why I left because I couldn’t stand to be in love with you blah blah blah.
To be honest I'm just a coward. And a fool who is willing to sit around and wait for you.
I lack the confidence to say this to your face so I will write and send my pathetic and poetic words to you that don’t make any sense.
I gave into temptation of talking to you again. Am I weak for it? Probably. But it just causes me a slight irritation that we haven’t tried this yet. After everything we haven’t even spoke a word about what happened.
What I’m really getting at is that I’m still here; pleasantly relapsing for your affections until I either snap or move on. Honestly, I would just adore being able to hold your hand; I’m really just a simpleton. There doesn’t have to be prolonged confessions or anything, I just want to sit around and do nothing with you. So, if you're just as willing and as curious as I am, we can start whatever this may or may not become.
I might just end up bleeding over this just a little more but I just am extremely stubborn and I’m not going anywhere. Unless of course this doesn’t end well and in that case I will walk away with a heavy heart and learn to live without this.
Thanks for being you and existing and all that jazz.
I will definitely regret this later.
Regards
PS. I think your existence is pretty amazing; it always has sort of captivated me.'
Even though I did write her a pathetic e-mail that I never sent. Here it is:
'Fuck.
I love you.
I'm not going to spew out stupid ass cliches for you to explain why I left because I couldn’t stand to be in love with you blah blah blah.
To be honest I'm just a coward. And a fool who is willing to sit around and wait for you.
I lack the confidence to say this to your face so I will write and send my pathetic and poetic words to you that don’t make any sense.
I gave into temptation of talking to you again. Am I weak for it? Probably. But it just causes me a slight irritation that we haven’t tried this yet. After everything we haven’t even spoke a word about what happened.
What I’m really getting at is that I’m still here; pleasantly relapsing for your affections until I either snap or move on. Honestly, I would just adore being able to hold your hand; I’m really just a simpleton. There doesn’t have to be prolonged confessions or anything, I just want to sit around and do nothing with you. So, if you're just as willing and as curious as I am, we can start whatever this may or may not become.
I might just end up bleeding over this just a little more but I just am extremely stubborn and I’m not going anywhere. Unless of course this doesn’t end well and in that case I will walk away with a heavy heart and learn to live without this.
Thanks for being you and existing and all that jazz.
I will definitely regret this later.
Regards
PS. I think your existence is pretty amazing; it always has sort of captivated me.'
