Day 1 - Afternoon: You will not BELIEVE the morning I've had. I went outside to get my morning paper and Mrs. Simmons' yippy, stupid little dog comes running up to me and bites my pant leg. I don't even know how many times I have warned this woman about leash laws and her annoying dog! So I tried to get the dog off my pants while calling for Mrs. Simmons. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her coming and I'm thinking “OMG this little old lady is going to take FOREVER to get here! So I started shuffling toward her, staring at this stupid dog still trying to shake it off. I got closer and started to look up and this witch was all up in my personal space and she looked AWFUL! You will never guess what happened next, really, you never will! She freaking bit me! Normally I'm not one to take my hand to a lady but I slapped that ho so hard! And her little dog too! I ran, and I mean like Forrest Gump RAN, all the way back to my house! Now my arm is bleeding, my thighs hurt, and my PJ pants have a rip in them. And wouldn't you know it, I can't leave because she's still out there. What a stalker! I'm gonna call the cops, I need medical attention!
Day 1 - Night: Things are getting a little out of control. After a while of waiting for her to leave so I could go to the hospital I finally ended up calling the police. I told them my story and the officer just laughed at me. FML. He told me that he knows “sweet little old Missus Simmons” that lives next door and she “would never hurt a fly”. Then told me to grow up and stop making prank calls and hung up on me. I was like I can't BELIEVE this, WHAT is going on around here?!?!?! So I went to the window that Mrs. Simmons was currently scratching at and tried to ask her what her problem was and do you want to know what she did?! She spit BLOOD at the window! I was like, “Oh thanks, have you been holding that in your mouth all day and you just wanted to give it back?! GET OFF MY PROPERTY!” Of course, she didn't budge, that would have been too easy! So I found my shot gun and I'm going outside to scare her off my property and then I'm going to go to the hospital.!
Day 1 - Night: Things are getting a little out of control. After a while of waiting for her to leave so I could go to the hospital I finally ended up calling the police. I told them my story and the officer just laughed at me. FML. He told me that he knows “sweet little old Missus Simmons” that lives next door and she “would never hurt a fly”. Then told me to grow up and stop making prank calls and hung up on me. I was like I can't BELIEVE this, WHAT is going on around here?!?!?! So I went to the window that Mrs. Simmons was currently scratching at and tried to ask her what her problem was and do you want to know what she did?! She spit BLOOD at the window! I was like, “Oh thanks, have you been holding that in your mouth all day and you just wanted to give it back?! GET OFF MY PROPERTY!” Of course, she didn't budge, that would have been too easy! So I found my shot gun and I'm going outside to scare her off my property and then I'm going to go to the hospital.!
