Day 2: Let me preface this by saying, I didn't mean to shoot her. I went outside and she wouldn't back down and she tried to bite me again. I fired two warning shots into her dog and that seemed to only make her mad and she came at me. It was self-defense, IT WAS SELF-DEFENSE! So after I rolled her carcass back onto her own lawn behind some bushes, I headed for my car. I intended to drive myself to the hospital but instead I backed into my brick mailbox. So I called 911 and when the EMT got out to help me, he freaked and told me that he is pretty sure that I have Super Rabies. SUPER RABIES! So like a man, I fainted...cut to me in the ER. They bandaged me up, gave me a lethal amount of antibiotics and told me to go home. All my friends won't answer their phones. Color me pissed.
Day 3: Man my arm hurts. So I finally got one of the nurses whose shift was over to drop me at my house. That was probably the only useful thing anyone from that hospital did for me. After she left I went over to check on the body of Mrs. Simmons to figure out what to do with it, but the body was GONE! This is not an emotional roller coaster I am prepared to deal with right now. I went inside and locked the door.
Day 4: After a restless night's sleep in my bath tub with my gun, I awoke to excruciating pain in my arm, it's turning a funny shade of grey/purple. Will the thrills never cease?! I then went to find out what happened to Mrs. Simmons. Only because I'm out of super-fun board games... There was a pool of blood behind the bush where I dumped her body. NO BODY but I guess blood is a start, so I followed the trail to the back of her house and stopped short at the gate. I raised my head only to realize that I was face to face with a “Beware of Dog” sign. ROFL! The trail continued in to her back yard but the gate was locked and it looked like a jungle back there anyway. I considered reporting it to the police but after the charming officer on the phone the other night and the fact that I am way too pretty for prison, I have decided against calling. I think I'm going to need more gauze soon...
Day 3: Man my arm hurts. So I finally got one of the nurses whose shift was over to drop me at my house. That was probably the only useful thing anyone from that hospital did for me. After she left I went over to check on the body of Mrs. Simmons to figure out what to do with it, but the body was GONE! This is not an emotional roller coaster I am prepared to deal with right now. I went inside and locked the door.
Day 4: After a restless night's sleep in my bath tub with my gun, I awoke to excruciating pain in my arm, it's turning a funny shade of grey/purple. Will the thrills never cease?! I then went to find out what happened to Mrs. Simmons. Only because I'm out of super-fun board games... There was a pool of blood behind the bush where I dumped her body. NO BODY but I guess blood is a start, so I followed the trail to the back of her house and stopped short at the gate. I raised my head only to realize that I was face to face with a “Beware of Dog” sign. ROFL! The trail continued in to her back yard but the gate was locked and it looked like a jungle back there anyway. I considered reporting it to the police but after the charming officer on the phone the other night and the fact that I am way too pretty for prison, I have decided against calling. I think I'm going to need more gauze soon...
