Dreary winter days blend together. The dawn of day and the early evening hours are book ends to grey hours in between. Snacking on sugar and salt because I'm too lazy to cook.therewas no snow this winter until February.It will continue through March. The energy required to be with people is overwhelming to think about.Besides,there is no one whose company I'm interested in seeking out. There once was such arrive to be with people. It wasn't important if they were quality people. Often times they were not very dear to me. Maybe it's good that they've lapsed into past acquaintance status. The trouble is that Im stuck now. I don't know how to navigate life from here. Creativity eludes me . I look at list of hobbies and have no compunction to take a step towards doing any of them. I have never been keenly talented in any thing. I could give you a long list of things I don't know how to do. It seems most people have some talent or hobby that takes skill. I believe it is hard to live out your passion when you have become passionless. It's horrible not to be able to articulate this to people. They have endless amounts of hobbies. I have been rattling my brain trying to think about this and why I'm this way. What I came up with is this, lack of money and lack of self esteem. First of all hobbies cost money. Money for classes, money for uniforms, money for supplies. Secondly fear. Fear of trying, fear of failure fear of failing in front of others and fear of failing my self. I mean really, who needs one thing in your life with a minus signe next to it. I like to watch old movies, travel, eat good food and on a good day dress up with care. I sometimes enjoy cooking and on rare occasions baking. I like mid century modern homes and furnishings because they represent the home I always wanted as a child. I dislike commercial that advertise medications and use happy background music while telling you all the horrible side effects from the product theyve created to treat some awful disease. They all seem to be scripted alike. The only variance are the age And sometimes the gender. There doesn't seem to be much shame in beating the same horse dead. One good show gives birth to a dozen more of the same copy cat script with different titles. Books are no exception to this trend. I often don't understand movie reviews and how they can even remotely give a movie a good review when it clearLy has no redeeming qualities. I dislike when people my age text while talking to you or worse yet talk on the phone while your sitting in a restarant. Why is something so rude considered acceptable.Everyone seems to agree about it's bad form but then turn around and do it. I don't understand why st patricks day is a holiday or why people who aren't Christians celebrate Easter or