i. am. disgusting.
122 lbs.5'3.
dis.gust.ing.
my thighs look like albino pot-bellied pigs stuffed in too small plastic bags.
my stomach looks like a baby whale.
my arms keep waving when i stop.
i eat 3 times a day.becausse i am watched by hawks. family.friends. everyone.
they all lie and tell me i am pretty/skinny/beautiful/thin enough. i just laugh. i am none of those things. i am fat/fat/ugly/fat/gigantic.
i make me sick. sick enough to throw up. but i cant do that. my body won't let me.it starts to and then it won't let me. stop stop stop. never what i want it to do.
i made my self smaller in one way. cut cut cut. down my arms up my back across my ribs down my thighs up my ankles.
everything i eat is sitting.never moving.never getting smaller.just sitting there,making me look like an awkward snowgirl.but not a pretty one one that was built wrong. with the biggest circle in the middle.
i make me sick. half a bagel.4 baked chicken nuggets.1 slice of pizza. thats everything i've eaten today. i haven't been able to run cuz of all the studying i have to do.
i am fat and nasty and gross. my friends lie to me so i stay "healthy"
they just want to look better than me when we go to the beach. cuz they will.
even my boyfriend lies to me. they all do it. i can't stand it.
can't they just tell me that i am nasty and they don't want me around until i am perfect? that would be the best inspiration. if they just said " i don't want to be your friend until you are pretty." or "i can't love you until you are perfect."
could h
122 lbs.5'3.
dis.gust.ing.
my thighs look like albino pot-bellied pigs stuffed in too small plastic bags.
my stomach looks like a baby whale.
my arms keep waving when i stop.
i eat 3 times a day.becausse i am watched by hawks. family.friends. everyone.
they all lie and tell me i am pretty/skinny/beautiful/thin enough. i just laugh. i am none of those things. i am fat/fat/ugly/fat/gigantic.
i make me sick. sick enough to throw up. but i cant do that. my body won't let me.it starts to and then it won't let me. stop stop stop. never what i want it to do.
i made my self smaller in one way. cut cut cut. down my arms up my back across my ribs down my thighs up my ankles.
everything i eat is sitting.never moving.never getting smaller.just sitting there,making me look like an awkward snowgirl.but not a pretty one one that was built wrong. with the biggest circle in the middle.
i make me sick. half a bagel.4 baked chicken nuggets.1 slice of pizza. thats everything i've eaten today. i haven't been able to run cuz of all the studying i have to do.
i am fat and nasty and gross. my friends lie to me so i stay "healthy"
they just want to look better than me when we go to the beach. cuz they will.
even my boyfriend lies to me. they all do it. i can't stand it.
can't they just tell me that i am nasty and they don't want me around until i am perfect? that would be the best inspiration. if they just said " i don't want to be your friend until you are pretty." or "i can't love you until you are perfect."
could h
