Well, I'm sure this will turn into a 'place' where I can keep complaining about how horrible my life has turned out to be. And how I keep saying it is my fault. Not that it isn't, but I'm sure people just get tired of listening, not that I'd ever tell anyone. Because, just think of it. You go to your friend (I'm not sure if I have one, by the way), and be like 'Hey, remember me? I'm the one who complains all the time about how crappy my life is. The thing is, I've been feeling like hell lately.' And then they'd be like 'Fuck, again? Seriously? What the fuck do you expect me to do, huh? I tried to help you once, and it didn't work out. Stop being annoying, and try to think about someone else other than yourself.'
And, well... It just wouldn't turn out well. I just, I really wish I didn't feel the need of telling the world how miserable I am. And I wish I really had a reason for feeling like this. But I don't. That's the truth, I don't. My life's fairly good, and I don't know if I just want to get attention, or whatever. I bet I do. I hope I don't, but, let's face it, this is me we're talking about. I just feel so unloved. Probably without a reason.
And god, I swear I want to stop complaining, and start enjoying what I have, but I jut can't. I'm selfish, and self-centered, and an egomaniac. Really. And I think I feel like the only way of getting people to care about me, is by being hurt. Oh my god, is that it? Embarrassing.
This should really show people why they should stay away from me. And I promise I'm not trying to pull the 'I hate myself' act to get compliments or something. At least I hope I'm not.
But I just truly believe I'm not worthy. And I don't care if people call me stupid because of it. I know myself. I've spent most of my life on my own, and I know how I am, and I know how nobody would enjoy that unless they have to.
And I guess that, because of disliking myself so much, I try to be someone else. But I hadn't realized how bad of a decision that is. Really. Now, I want someone to come and tell me how worthy I am. 'Cause I don't see it at all. And you don't know how much I wish this isn't just a stunt to get attention. I just know that people probably don't like me because of that either.
And, well... It just wouldn't turn out well. I just, I really wish I didn't feel the need of telling the world how miserable I am. And I wish I really had a reason for feeling like this. But I don't. That's the truth, I don't. My life's fairly good, and I don't know if I just want to get attention, or whatever. I bet I do. I hope I don't, but, let's face it, this is me we're talking about. I just feel so unloved. Probably without a reason.
And god, I swear I want to stop complaining, and start enjoying what I have, but I jut can't. I'm selfish, and self-centered, and an egomaniac. Really. And I think I feel like the only way of getting people to care about me, is by being hurt. Oh my god, is that it? Embarrassing.
This should really show people why they should stay away from me. And I promise I'm not trying to pull the 'I hate myself' act to get compliments or something. At least I hope I'm not.
But I just truly believe I'm not worthy. And I don't care if people call me stupid because of it. I know myself. I've spent most of my life on my own, and I know how I am, and I know how nobody would enjoy that unless they have to.
And I guess that, because of disliking myself so much, I try to be someone else. But I hadn't realized how bad of a decision that is. Really. Now, I want someone to come and tell me how worthy I am. 'Cause I don't see it at all. And you don't know how much I wish this isn't just a stunt to get attention. I just know that people probably don't like me because of that either.
