Now I'm not too sure how to use this thing. I assume that I just write whatever I want. It also seems as if that this is supposed to be used to write a book of some kind. Well I am no writer and I have no plans for a book...So...I guess that for now this will be used as a journal. And as a place where I can not only practice my writing skills, but my typing as well. You will soon see that I am clearly a virtuoso at both.
It is slowly coming to my attention that I am one crazy mofo. Not only do I write as if I am talking to someone no wait, thats normal. or is it that's. to the internet!!! Well apparently I am completely wrong, only use that is from now on.
Well that was a long break. Probably because I am doing this at work. Who would have guessed. Anyway, I was talking about crazy. So I think I am bipolar. I don't want to think that and I especially don't want to be it, but that is not a choice I get to make. I've been thrust into and there is no getting out of it.
I have been trying to get help. Funny to think that this was not a problem until someone brought it to my attention; now it is ruining my life. It really isn't that bad, it is just out of control.
When I get depressed I loose touch with everything around me. I feel hopeless and alone; all standard things really. What bothers me the most about it is that I cannot talk to my friends. It is like I loose my ability to talk to them. I have no desire or interest to do anything, not even things I enjoy or partake in on a regular basis.
When I'm manic I have a feeling overtaking me like no other. I feel confident and sexy and talented and smart and good in every way. I could take on the world and another like it. I have tons of energy and bounce all over the place. I have no need to sleep and I am a big hit socially. I don't think that any drug could make me feel that good.
I just get out of control. I cannot live my life anymore. I need to gain some emotional stability if I want to get on with my life and be successful. It is going to be hard, but I can do it. And hey maybe I'm not actually bipolar. Other explanations are out there and I will find them. I just want to be better. I just want to be fixed.
So apparently a page is longer than I expected. I guess I can think about what to write tomorrow. How about something happy. Happy is always good. I could write about Erin. Yeah, I like Erin. I will write about her. Or maybe about some of the trouble I have gotten into recently. That could be a good topic also. Well only time will tell tomorrow's subject
It is slowly coming to my attention that I am one crazy mofo. Not only do I write as if I am talking to someone no wait, thats normal. or is it that's. to the internet!!! Well apparently I am completely wrong, only use that is from now on.
Well that was a long break. Probably because I am doing this at work. Who would have guessed. Anyway, I was talking about crazy. So I think I am bipolar. I don't want to think that and I especially don't want to be it, but that is not a choice I get to make. I've been thrust into and there is no getting out of it.
I have been trying to get help. Funny to think that this was not a problem until someone brought it to my attention; now it is ruining my life. It really isn't that bad, it is just out of control.
When I get depressed I loose touch with everything around me. I feel hopeless and alone; all standard things really. What bothers me the most about it is that I cannot talk to my friends. It is like I loose my ability to talk to them. I have no desire or interest to do anything, not even things I enjoy or partake in on a regular basis.
When I'm manic I have a feeling overtaking me like no other. I feel confident and sexy and talented and smart and good in every way. I could take on the world and another like it. I have tons of energy and bounce all over the place. I have no need to sleep and I am a big hit socially. I don't think that any drug could make me feel that good.
I just get out of control. I cannot live my life anymore. I need to gain some emotional stability if I want to get on with my life and be successful. It is going to be hard, but I can do it. And hey maybe I'm not actually bipolar. Other explanations are out there and I will find them. I just want to be better. I just want to be fixed.
So apparently a page is longer than I expected. I guess I can think about what to write tomorrow. How about something happy. Happy is always good. I could write about Erin. Yeah, I like Erin. I will write about her. Or maybe about some of the trouble I have gotten into recently. That could be a good topic also. Well only time will tell tomorrow's subject
