It's a funny thing, disappointing your parents.
I look up at them during dinner time to talk to them about my day. I can tell that they are tired of me living here in their house, eating their food, watching me live paycheck to paycheck at jobs they had hoped I would be too good for. "We sent you to private school," their silence says. "We sent you to Montessori elementary schools and paid your way through college. You spent a semester abroad and all of our money, and you can't even get a real job with a salary?"
No guys, I'm sorry.
Tonight is worse, because I have to tell them that I hate school. I've hated the semester that I've spent at UT Dallas taking a full-load of education classes, and not doing my assignments.
We've had similar conversations before. Sometimes they understand my side of the story and say that they know school is too structured of a place, that they know me, sometimes some people just don't prosper or do well. Some people just don't like it enough to make it work for them.
"Yeah," I say. "That's me. It's not that I'm an idiot--it's just not a place I like to be."
But tonight, it's not going to be like that.
Tonight, my mother is looking up efficiency apartments on Craigslist that are within my meager budget: $425, all bills paid, one room plus sink. And to make her feel better, I'm going to finish an assignment. I'm going to try damn hard to finish something--be it a page of writing or a resentfully written homework
assignment. If there's on thing I hate, it's living up to their expectations.
I look up at them during dinner time to talk to them about my day. I can tell that they are tired of me living here in their house, eating their food, watching me live paycheck to paycheck at jobs they had hoped I would be too good for. "We sent you to private school," their silence says. "We sent you to Montessori elementary schools and paid your way through college. You spent a semester abroad and all of our money, and you can't even get a real job with a salary?"
No guys, I'm sorry.
Tonight is worse, because I have to tell them that I hate school. I've hated the semester that I've spent at UT Dallas taking a full-load of education classes, and not doing my assignments.
We've had similar conversations before. Sometimes they understand my side of the story and say that they know school is too structured of a place, that they know me, sometimes some people just don't prosper or do well. Some people just don't like it enough to make it work for them.
"Yeah," I say. "That's me. It's not that I'm an idiot--it's just not a place I like to be."
But tonight, it's not going to be like that.
Tonight, my mother is looking up efficiency apartments on Craigslist that are within my meager budget: $425, all bills paid, one room plus sink. And to make her feel better, I'm going to finish an assignment. I'm going to try damn hard to finish something--be it a page of writing or a resentfully written homework
assignment. If there's on thing I hate, it's living up to their expectations.
