As I Pondered the feeling of complete loss and disillusionment there came a twang, as to whether it is real i am unsure all i know is that it's a horrid, searing pain that i have to cling to. I don't know why i need it. The loss isn't true, i still know the feeling is there, like an old yellowing bruise. Darkness surround your thoughts, but its impossible to tell where the thoughts start and the insanity begins. Women don't suit, the idea is more pleasing than the reality, i ache for her but i don't really need her. Or do i. Is this guilt going to destroy me. It wasn't my fault.

Yes it was.

Everything was a reminder, i couldn't suppress it. This constant burning,the tapping,driving me forever forward into the spiralling inferno that was my subconscious.

It is all your fault.

Perhaps had i been less vulgar,had my words been true and kind. This drive this twang feeling, forever more existent with each pulse. I figure to check with myself, shout into the un-mapable abyss of my mind. There is a sound, perhaps this twang is real. Unless i'm a fool to fall for the sound of myself.

Your fault.

Just as i had accepted the sound of my madness, there she sounds again creating doubt as to whether i should do something. The fall of a shadow creating as much confusion as that of glaring light, came flittering almost as an afterthought, lingering no longer than a second.

It is your fault.

There. It was There. She was There. The reflection of myself, the twang, the searing guilt, so alluring to my pain. Women the destroyer the tormentor. Giving in cannot happen