Still stuck between the two boys. Tyler and Ryan. Ryan is currently my boyfriend who asked me out july 6. Tyler has been my friend for a while now and he has become one of my good, slightly close friends. Unfortunately, I think I jumped into the relationship with Ryan too quickly... I barely know him. And unfortunately, the more I DO get to know him.. The more I think.. I am un attracted to him.. I feel like a horrible person. Leading this guy on. But what makes me feel even worse, is the fact I have a HUGE crush on Tyler. I often have fantasies of myself hooking up with him. In his room. Together. Alone. Just in his arms. I'm just so comfortable there. So.. At peace. A good comparison would be a security blanket. Every time he hugs me at the end of the day I want it to last forever. He also smells really good..Baha. But then theres another thing that breaks my heart. He likes this other girl named Ivy. But thank goodness shes not into him. What REALLY breaks my heart is the fact that I think he might like my other good friend Isabelle. And she likes him back. But! I can tell. She definitely doesn't like him as much as me. And then there's Skye. Skye is always perfect. and for some reason it doesn't surprise me she likes tyler too. Great for me right? Shit, drama sucks. But, unfortunately it makes life interesting. I feel so small right now. kinda.. thats not a good description. The song "Mr. cellophane" describes what I'm feeling much better right now. I wish Tyler would just come up to me and say "Chloe, I know you have a boyfriend, But I am completely and utterly smitten with you. Can I kiss you?". That. That sentence. That sentence is THE BEST thing I could possibly imagine in the world right now. Too bad it's never gonna happen. Maybe I should say it. Tell it to him one day when we are alone. What would he say? Would he kiss me? Would He let me kiss him? OH man. If only. Those comforting arms. I want him. Not in the sexual way. but in the way that I could annouce my passion for him and he could hold me in public so we could express our love. Love. I have been thinking about that word.. Am I in love? I don't.. Think so..(?) It may not be love.. BUT its definitely something.. Something that makes me blush whenever I think about him holding me. But to dealing with the problems before I can even tell him how I feel (If I do..). Do I break up with Ryan? Or just play it out.. But whats the point of being in a relationship.. if.. If you don't even like the person. I guess That's my answer.