Well this is what financial hardship feels like. Mom just took a sixty percent pay cut from an already pitifully low salary. Dad hasn't paid child support in eight months and he may or may not have his driver's license. Meanwhile, I'm supposed to fork over $170 to be in French Honor Society? I don't think so. That's not quite feasible at this time. Why in the world should I have to pay to be in this club? Membership is based upon academic excellence, not economic surplus. So with all these AP classes and other available college credit, I have to pay a grand total of $1028. Is this really worth it? After all of this, will I get into Harvard? Hardly. The local university? Yes, but I don't know if I'm smart enough anymore to qualify for scholarships. This is getting ridiculous. I'M SIXTEEN. What were you doing when you were sixteen? Probably not working two jobs and playing a sport that consumes a full 25% of a twelve hour period. And don't forget homework or any hope of a social life. You know what I should be doing right now? physics, French, math, and sociology homework in addition to three packets for US History and a large reading on pre-colonial times in America for English. Mind you, all of these classes are AP excepting sociology, French, and math. But luckily, French and math are both college courses taken through local universities. Is this normal? I have to wonder, what is everyone else my age doing right now? At this very second, how many people in this world have it better than I do? Worse? There must be worse, there are always those that are worse off. For example, those miners that were stuck in Chile. Only they're all out now and it's okay. And everything is always worse in Darfur. Life must be comparably simpler, albeit shittier. Do I feel better now? Absolutely not. Complaining doesn't get my homework done. It doesn't improve my work ethic or my sardonic view of the world. Nothing does. I think I understand why people turn to drugs right now. I have nothing and no one to blame but myself. Or maybe her. There's always her.


What the fuck just happened. It's not even a question anymore. I was perfectly asleep at ten thirty am on a Sunday morning until I woke up to maniacal screaming in my grandmother's house. It was my siter and my father doing homework. My sister does not do homework. She simply does not get it done and does not hand it in. My father did all of his homework and always graduated forst in his class. He is a doctor. My sister barely passed seventh frade. I, on the other hand, used to be a fantastic student.