She never really understood what I meant when I told her I liked to get lost. It was like it didn't ever click. Maybe she was more of a straight and narrow and I was more of a candy cane, or a question mark. Whatever the reason, getting lost is a challenge for some, and to others it comes more natural.
What I like to do when I'm getting lost is I first try to get really quiet. I close my eyes, even, and I stop, like I'm trying to pause the world, and then I imagine that there's a string flowing out of me and on the other end, way away, so far that I can't see exactly where it's going, I pretend is someone pulling it. I guess the problem with the other end is that it's hard to tell what kind of person is pulling. Some days it feels like it's a friend, someone you know and would watch a movie with, and at other times it's as though someone who hates you and wants you to suffer has gotten control. That's why I only do this method on occasion.
So I'm pretending there's this string, right, and then I just start walking. By this point I've opened my eyes. I've tried it with them still closed and I walked into a fountain and then I wasn't lost anymore; I was just wet.
Now I'm walking, and just going somewhere and I ask myself questions like, "Where are you going?" and I try to answer them, "I don't really know. Howabout this way?"
"No. That way isn't right," I tell myself.
Looking that way I wonder about it. It looks alright. Maybe a little too green or red. "How can you know? That way looks fine to me."
"Fine, go that way."
Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't, you know? What's the difference, really? But what was I saying?
Yeah, I'm walking and I start going different ways, and usually I'm not alone. There are like, usually other people around, and I imagine them just walking somewhere, too, asking themselves the same questions, "Why are you going this way?"
"I don't know," they sometimes say to themselves, and then they stop and have to think about life for a while because they realize the way they were going wasn't the way that they'd started out going and they have to wonder how it was exactly they got there without trying.
And so I imagine these other people then I get hungry or something and end up going to a coffee shop and I sit down, right, and I eat a scone and see some more people talking with other people, or knowing exactly where they are, stuck inside of laptops.
What I like to do when I'm getting lost is I first try to get really quiet. I close my eyes, even, and I stop, like I'm trying to pause the world, and then I imagine that there's a string flowing out of me and on the other end, way away, so far that I can't see exactly where it's going, I pretend is someone pulling it. I guess the problem with the other end is that it's hard to tell what kind of person is pulling. Some days it feels like it's a friend, someone you know and would watch a movie with, and at other times it's as though someone who hates you and wants you to suffer has gotten control. That's why I only do this method on occasion.
So I'm pretending there's this string, right, and then I just start walking. By this point I've opened my eyes. I've tried it with them still closed and I walked into a fountain and then I wasn't lost anymore; I was just wet.
Now I'm walking, and just going somewhere and I ask myself questions like, "Where are you going?" and I try to answer them, "I don't really know. Howabout this way?"
"No. That way isn't right," I tell myself.
Looking that way I wonder about it. It looks alright. Maybe a little too green or red. "How can you know? That way looks fine to me."
"Fine, go that way."
Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't, you know? What's the difference, really? But what was I saying?
Yeah, I'm walking and I start going different ways, and usually I'm not alone. There are like, usually other people around, and I imagine them just walking somewhere, too, asking themselves the same questions, "Why are you going this way?"
"I don't know," they sometimes say to themselves, and then they stop and have to think about life for a while because they realize the way they were going wasn't the way that they'd started out going and they have to wonder how it was exactly they got there without trying.
And so I imagine these other people then I get hungry or something and end up going to a coffee shop and I sit down, right, and I eat a scone and see some more people talking with other people, or knowing exactly where they are, stuck inside of laptops.
