It's half past seven in the morning and I'm unable to sleep. I'm sitting in my bed, uncomfortably typing this, constantly readjusting trying to get comfortable as I know what I will write will be long and just a stream of thoughts as they come to me. Take that as you may.

I dreamt of you again last night. It's been happening more and more lately and I've finally reached a point where I can't just fall back asleep again. I convinced myself that I would write you an email, confess that I still love you and that I always will and that if you ever wanted to give us a try that I would give you that opportunity. But how do I write all of that without sounding bat shit crazy? We haven't spoken in years. I googled your name as I occasionally do just to see what came up. You seem to be doing well for yourself. Congrats Boo Boo! You seem to be happy, you're smiling a real smile. Then the urge to write you an email went away. I'm sad. Not sad that you're happy, I'm happy that you're happy. I'm sad that it isn't me. Call me selfish but I am.

So an email is out of the question but I'm left with all of these feelings and thoughts and nowhere to put them but here.

- YB ")