I'm still fucking sad.

But the numbed down type of sad where
you are sitting in the car,
driving the curvy road that leads to your house,
and want to drive off the road
and die.

That type of sadness where you are eating your favorite meal
and want to choke on it.

Where you are making an effort
and still thinking about killing yourself.

Where you are having good times but
it's still there telling you
"die already".

I'm still fucking sad.