open up the door that leads to the roof, there is nobody there, my music player is still on...what song is that?...I don't know...I don't even remember uploading it...it matters little now. I look up at the sky...a sunny yet slightly cloudy afternoon, so peaceful, the breeze blowing gently you'd think its spring, I gaze up at the shapeless clouds, not exactly hoping to make out a shape among them.
The music still plays as I slowly walk to the edge of the roof, peering over, my heart skips a beat...and another..then starts to beat fast, I felt a rush through my body, just like a lover's first kiss. Looking at the distance below I start to wonder..."How long will it take? Will it be over by then? can it fail?".
Suddenly, my attention is diverted by a flock of birds flying right over..."that doesn't happen too often" I thought, sometimes, I even forget that birds still existed where I live, I sit legs crossed watching the flock disappear in the horizon (or just behind the block facing mine).
The music still plays on, I slowly pull up my sleeves and take a long look at my arms."I promised I'll never do that again..ever.." I thought with a smirk, I pulled my sleeves back down, then turned to my shoes taking them off, standing up again, I felt the cold granite against my warm feet...the feet that I got from him...My father...a constant reminder that no matter how far I'll go, he will always be dogging my very steps, mocking me...telling me that I'll never walk on my own feet gaze at the edge one more time, smiling as the breeze caressed my pale face...just like I always did as a child...or so my mother told me...my mother,poor woman, she has others to take care of, after all, its not my first time away from her,nor the second....except.. this time, my absence might last slightly a bit longer,I remember that my player is still on, so I finally pull the headphones out, wrap them around the player, not turning it off however, at a glance a the screen "je suis malade" is playing.
I place the player on a few papers that I wrote with haste,and folded them perfectly(...I must have gotten this obsession from origami...)..isn't it customary to write a few notes to explain why and how, and maybe free some people from the responsibility, or maybe ..just maybe..to induce some guilt in those who pushed you into it?...anyway.. I place the lot besides my shoes that I placed to face the edge as well.
I stood up, straightening my hair up, then I stopped to laugh at myself "at a time like this?", in the end I just let it down. Gazing at the sky I began to hum a song that I never knew the lyrics to, but still loved as a child...here I go wondering again about trivial things..
I take a few steps aligning my toes to the very edge of the roof, I spread my wings..I hear voices...all of those I loved and those who I have dreaded...those who caused me pain, on purpose and those who did despite their best intentions..even now? Can't they let me be?...
Whats this icy feeling on my cheeks?..tears..tears racing down my face to fly into the air...wasted...like my years....
Voices slowly fading...last thing I hear..fragments..of which I could only make out my name..and then...silence.
The music still plays as I slowly walk to the edge of the roof, peering over, my heart skips a beat...and another..then starts to beat fast, I felt a rush through my body, just like a lover's first kiss. Looking at the distance below I start to wonder..."How long will it take? Will it be over by then? can it fail?".
Suddenly, my attention is diverted by a flock of birds flying right over..."that doesn't happen too often" I thought, sometimes, I even forget that birds still existed where I live, I sit legs crossed watching the flock disappear in the horizon (or just behind the block facing mine).
The music still plays on, I slowly pull up my sleeves and take a long look at my arms."I promised I'll never do that again..ever.." I thought with a smirk, I pulled my sleeves back down, then turned to my shoes taking them off, standing up again, I felt the cold granite against my warm feet...the feet that I got from him...My father...a constant reminder that no matter how far I'll go, he will always be dogging my very steps, mocking me...telling me that I'll never walk on my own feet gaze at the edge one more time, smiling as the breeze caressed my pale face...just like I always did as a child...or so my mother told me...my mother,poor woman, she has others to take care of, after all, its not my first time away from her,nor the second....except.. this time, my absence might last slightly a bit longer,I remember that my player is still on, so I finally pull the headphones out, wrap them around the player, not turning it off however, at a glance a the screen "je suis malade" is playing.
I place the player on a few papers that I wrote with haste,and folded them perfectly(...I must have gotten this obsession from origami...)..isn't it customary to write a few notes to explain why and how, and maybe free some people from the responsibility, or maybe ..just maybe..to induce some guilt in those who pushed you into it?...anyway.. I place the lot besides my shoes that I placed to face the edge as well.
I stood up, straightening my hair up, then I stopped to laugh at myself "at a time like this?", in the end I just let it down. Gazing at the sky I began to hum a song that I never knew the lyrics to, but still loved as a child...here I go wondering again about trivial things..
I take a few steps aligning my toes to the very edge of the roof, I spread my wings..I hear voices...all of those I loved and those who I have dreaded...those who caused me pain, on purpose and those who did despite their best intentions..even now? Can't they let me be?...
Whats this icy feeling on my cheeks?..tears..tears racing down my face to fly into the air...wasted...like my years....
Voices slowly fading...last thing I hear..fragments..of which I could only make out my name..and then...silence.
