I've decided to start writing every day. I actually made this decision around New Years, when I made all sorts of other life-altering decisions that I was sure I was going to stick to, but so far haven't. I haven't been to the gym, I haven't written something for leisure every day. Maybe I should resolve to be better at resolutions.
I pressed 'enter' there, as if to go to another line, for another thought, but realised that no one is going to read this, so does it matter if my thoughts are separated clearly? Sometimes when I'm thinking, or look at something, or hear something, a flash of a dream comes back to me, and I'm flooded with non-memories of things that never happened. I always feel a sort of nostalgia, as if I'm longing for a past that never existed. In one, I'm in a huge haunted mansion with a massive library. In another, I'm at the old campground where my family would meet for reunions, but it's dark and someone's dying. It doesn't matter the prompt, the dream memories seem to come unbidden from everywhere. I'm not very good at free-writing, I'm too formal with my capitalisation and punctuation. I should just let loose with a torrent of incoherent words and thoughts spread out over the paper like an ink blot, slowly covering it, slowly consuming it. I have ink all over my fingers, but that's what I get for doing my Classics homework with a quill. It seems fitting, in a way, but then I go to class and we're in a computer lab outfitted with Wacom tablets and a smart board and suddenly my quill-written homework seems outdated. I don't know that I can fill a whole page right now, and I don't know that I should make myself, either. I feel like forcing it wouldn't serve a purpose, I should want to do this, not make it into an assignment. Perhaps, though, the way to create a habit that you like is to force yourself to do it for a while, even if you hate it in the beginning. That's the way a lot of kids learn musical instruments or sports. They hate practicing, but the reward of hearing that song come out perfectly or hitting a home run outweigh the strenuous or boring forced practicing and suddenly it's their favourite hobby. Maybe one day, when I write, I shouldn't capitalise anything, or I should write with an accent, or replace all of the As with Bs. If nothing else, it would make the writing more entertaining, and possibly even more fun to read. I can't imagine anyone wanting to read what I've just written here. I literally haven't stopped typing, my fingers are starting to hurt. I just type whatever I think, and that is probably healthy and cleansing and whatnot, but I wish the thoughts in my head were more poignant than this, more interesting and more worthy of being shared with other people.
I pressed 'enter' there, as if to go to another line, for another thought, but realised that no one is going to read this, so does it matter if my thoughts are separated clearly? Sometimes when I'm thinking, or look at something, or hear something, a flash of a dream comes back to me, and I'm flooded with non-memories of things that never happened. I always feel a sort of nostalgia, as if I'm longing for a past that never existed. In one, I'm in a huge haunted mansion with a massive library. In another, I'm at the old campground where my family would meet for reunions, but it's dark and someone's dying. It doesn't matter the prompt, the dream memories seem to come unbidden from everywhere. I'm not very good at free-writing, I'm too formal with my capitalisation and punctuation. I should just let loose with a torrent of incoherent words and thoughts spread out over the paper like an ink blot, slowly covering it, slowly consuming it. I have ink all over my fingers, but that's what I get for doing my Classics homework with a quill. It seems fitting, in a way, but then I go to class and we're in a computer lab outfitted with Wacom tablets and a smart board and suddenly my quill-written homework seems outdated. I don't know that I can fill a whole page right now, and I don't know that I should make myself, either. I feel like forcing it wouldn't serve a purpose, I should want to do this, not make it into an assignment. Perhaps, though, the way to create a habit that you like is to force yourself to do it for a while, even if you hate it in the beginning. That's the way a lot of kids learn musical instruments or sports. They hate practicing, but the reward of hearing that song come out perfectly or hitting a home run outweigh the strenuous or boring forced practicing and suddenly it's their favourite hobby. Maybe one day, when I write, I shouldn't capitalise anything, or I should write with an accent, or replace all of the As with Bs. If nothing else, it would make the writing more entertaining, and possibly even more fun to read. I can't imagine anyone wanting to read what I've just written here. I literally haven't stopped typing, my fingers are starting to hurt. I just type whatever I think, and that is probably healthy and cleansing and whatnot, but I wish the thoughts in my head were more poignant than this, more interesting and more worthy of being shared with other people.
