It's strange. For once I seem to have caught up with the norm. I like him; he's sweet, fun, funny, has a similar sense of humor, and overall someone I enjoy having in my life. I'd like to date him. In fact, I'd probably enjoy it very much. But he doesn't give me butterflies and I probably wouldn't cry if/when he broke up with me.

He's the first to fill this category. But maybe that should be encouraging because all the ones who did give me butterflies ended up hurting me more than I care to think about or live through again. So maybe I should give it a try; give him a chance.

Of course, I'm being rather presumptuous and assuming he has any desire to be with me. I get the impression that he does but then again, I got the impression that /he/ loved me and wanted me in his life forever. I got the impression that *he* was kind and cared about me and was serious when he said we could work through the difficulties to have something real; something beautiful. And I got the impression that _he_ would be willing to change and would finally give me what I needed and what I thought we both wanted. My impressions have failed me all too often and that is why I am so afraid to love. The ones you love are the ones with the ability to hurt you the most and I have yet to love anyone who didn't hurt me in the worst and most unpredicted ways.

But I want to love again. I'd like to just like again. But most importantly, I'd like for once to have my feelings be completely and honestly returned. If I could just get that once, the heartbreak would be so much more bearable.