always know." Lia laughed but didn't continue. Silence fell over them again. After a couple of seconds, she breathed in deeply. "I think I just feel a little weird about it. Like it wasn't natural or something. I feel different now, but not in a good way. Not in the way I thought I would," she blurted out with an air of false confidence. Her voice was too loud and brash and she cringed after she finished. She turned and found Valentine looking at her with sharp, lime-bright and deep-set eyes. With his dark, perpetually-bronzed skin, he looked like something exotic, like a desert cat. He was handsome enough that did justice to his name, yet she could still find obvious faults. His crooked nose, his narrow face, the way his lips twisted when he frowned, making him look meaner than he actually was. She turned away because she didn't like what she saw there, that knowing expression. She saw the truth in his expression and she started to cry silently. "Lia," he said softly. She stared out in front of her at his computer. Through the blur of her tears, the glow of the screen didn't look as bright.
"Sorry." She sounded calm and steady, but stiff and thick. Her throat was too tight for her to lie properly. "For what?" he asked. "Why are you saying sorry? It's me."
Jason had been her boyfriend for over a year. She had met him in her first class, on the first day of college, and their relationship had steadily grown since then. Lia felt horrible for feeling horrible--she had really thought that sleeping with him yesterday had been the right. She thought she was ready and that she would love him more afterward and that life would be wonderful and bright and happy and she would be smarter and prettier and more outgoing...now she just felt empty and sad.
Lia turned back around. Valentine was still watching her. She sighed and shifted closer to him. He put his arm around her and they fell asleep.