I haven't slept in days. I think it's safe to say that I'm finally giving into stress. I've never procrastinated like I have lately. I hate myself for doing it, but here I find myself wasting my time writing random thoughts on a web-page I'm sure I'll never see again. Today I signed up for summer school. I hope to god that I can find some motivation to work during the summer, I sure haven't found any this semester. It's like I can see my life from a third-person point of view, I can see myself continue to decline but I can't do anything about it. I've become extremely indifferent, god I hate that. I'm definitely missing something in my life, for the longest time I thought it was a girlfriend, but now that I've found someone who likes me, and I like them back, I can't find the balls to take the next step. Procrastination is a goddamn bitch. I should be writing a 1500-word essay about Augustus Caesar, but how appealing does that sound? Honest to god, the day that I find something that interests me will be the day I die, I need a goddamn reason to SMILE. I fucking hate coming off as whiny and depressed, but I can't help it - I'm a teenager and that's what teenagers fucking do! I can't wait until this week is over, tomorrow morning I have 2 tests and an essay due in the afternoon. I don't even have time to spare to masturbate, how depressing is that? The sad part is that jerking off is the highlight of most of my days now. It seems as though I'm just looking for the next high, whether it be natural or induced. I'm beginning to understand what's so good about weed, but the last thing I want to do is become a stoner. I have big goals for my life, but no method of reaching them. I wish I knew what I wanted in life, or even a slight clue of what I want. If I had the slightest clue of what makes me happy, I'd invest 100% of my time and effort into it. Maybe I should ask Stephanie out, but I really have no fucking idea if that's what I want. I just need to grow some testicles, take a jump off a cliff and see if it makes my life any better or not. I'm kind of stagnant at the moment, and there's nothing more depressing than not moving forward in life. Not progression, not regression, just 'gression - it's a dangerous plateau to reach no doubt. Eight hours of sleep in one night would be good, I'm seriously thinking of switching to a polyphasic sleep cycle, because at least then I'd get some quality rest. Until then...