She's been crying. The sky is completely without color, racing from evening to dawn and back again. The street lights are flickering on and off, the street is cracked and broken, and the rain is coming down harder than ever. She's sitting on the edge of the railing on the deck, drenched with the rain and her own tears. "What happened?" I'm completely serious this time, I've never seen her like this. I'm completely bewildered by the scenery, everything is broken or on the fritz. She licks her already wet lips and says, "I lost him," her voice dry and broken from screaming and sobbing. "No, you couldn't have. You had him, he was so close to you." I come hold her in my arms, stroking her hair and pull her head to my chest, soaking my own shirt and exposing myself to the rain. "No, I have. I've completely lost him." "Why?" "People were talking..." She looks up at me with the saddest eyes I'd ever seen, you could see her broken heart, soul, and will through those eyes. "You let those bastards on the outside get to you?" "You said that stuff, too." I let go for a second and shrug, "Well, I wanted you to see what the people were saying. I wanted you to get out before it turned...ended like this." She holds my hand and looks at the street. "He'd even hold my hand when we were kissing. He would hold ME." She breaks down into a another fit of sobs, the rain pouring down harder. "You know he wasn't thinking of you when he was doing that sweet stuff." "Yeah," she said, dabbing her eyes with her wet sleeve, "but it was nice to lie to myself, just a little longer, and pretend that he was." I grip her hand tighter and light up a cigarette. The rain doesn't distinguish it, which concerns me more. "You're not gonna start again over something like this, are ya?" "Why not? It'd help." "And completely ruin your chance of living a musical life." "Who cares..." "He would." Lightning strikes the street as thunder shakes everything, including the apartment. It's swaying uncontrollably as she holds herself tightly, the emotional pain racking her body. I hold her again as she cries, wailing into the wind like a little girl. "You let your guard down. You let him into your heart and it happened again. He hurt you worse than ever now." She breathes deep breaths and chokes on the rain. "No," she sputters, "no, it was my fault. I let this happen. It's not his fault." "It has to be his fault someti-" "NO!" She pushes me away as she yells the word, using so much force that I hit the wall. "No...it was my stupidity that led to this, my own weak mind believing what my heart had to say." I pop my back in several different places, rubbing where it hit the brick. "And what DID your heart say?" The wind whipped coldly around us, the rain freezing into hail and bombarding our bodies. Bruises the size of half dollars appear on our skin, but neither of us react. The sky stops to the dead of night, with no stars or moon. The street looks desolate and the street lights are completely extinguished. She looks empty as she stares at the street. "It said that I loved him." "Well, lesson learned."