I have no idea how far this is going to go. It is 11:18, yes, P.M., and of course I am still awake. I swore this was going to be my last 'stumble' for the night. This website (stumbleupon.com) has relatively massacred my productivity for the post-daylight hours. Ironic that I have to mention that here? Well anyway, back to me being awake- I forgot to add that tomorrow is the last day of classes for my sophomore year. It's official. I'm ridiculous. I did not realize my story would start out so self-loathing. But it is so easy to pour out your thoughts when you are in a state of shock, stress, exhaustion, and about to start finals. I hope I will write tomorrow. This will be a testament to my 'creature-of-habit-ness'. At this point, my train of thought has already distanced itself from reality. I am left to try and come up with ideas, reaching into the recesses of my brain where I keep Natalie, the pet brown bear that I dreamed about a few nights ago. Weird how the mind works. If people believe that dreams are gateways into another life, a sort of chat-roulette of the spiritual dimensions, well then... that was one weird dream either way. No one can rationalize a brown bear as a pet, let alone with a name like Natalie. But I guess that is incidental compared to the dreams that must escape my memory. I mean to think that I - or anyone - could have had the most divine, utterly life changing experience in our dreams, and yet the odds that we actually would have remembered it are what? One in ten? I feel like I am living in the time of the earth when humans are just advanced enough to realize how many unknowns there are, and how little technology we actually have in the big picture. From my standpoint, one looks back and thinks, "What was it like to live in a time with no cars to change cities, no boats to cross oceans." And as trapped as that seems, we still haven't made it off the fucking pale blue dot. A spec. That is not what we are, that is as far as we can go. One day, if the human race hasn't killed itself off, people will look back and ponder a time when we were limited only to what Earth had to offer. But considering the article I just read in which Stephen Hawking is telling us to avoid the search for intelligent life on the basis that if they are anything like us, they will be hunting selfishly for resources, I bet that we don't find ourselves making it to a sustainable forever... I guess thats it for today.