1/4/2011
I carefully filled the syringe, just because I was about to kill her, that didn't mean I didn't still love her. I didn't want her to suffer. We had had thirteen good years together, two beautiful children--girls. Big beautiful brown eyes like her.
She was asleep and probably would not feel anything. In the morning, she wouldn't show up for work. The girls would not be at school. We would be driving south to Nevada in the rebuilt Ford Bronco that is sitting in a storage unit 2 hours from here. It has Wisconsin plates on it right now--soon to switched over to Colorado plates. I have enough cash to get us out of the country. No ATMs, no credit cards, no cell phone, no computer, we will be invisible and un-trackable.
Watching her breath--slow in, out, in, out. She looked deceptively peaceful and, hard to believe, harmless. But just more of her deception, her lies, her falsehoods, her arrogance, her manipulations, her...evilness.
If I'm going to do this, I better do it now. She is wiped out from a hard week of work. We have a three-day holiday weekend--we might be able to make it to Mexico before anyone realizes we're gone. I may never get the courage up again, I may end up living with this monster for the rest of my life if I don't take action now, tonight, I'll regret it for the rest of my life.
"Goodbye, Love", I say out loud before kissing her forehead. I start to cry gently. I never wanted things to go this way. I tried to fix our problems but she wanted things her way. We couldn't agree on anything lately. She wanted to get married, I didn't think we should bother. She wanted to move out of the city, to the suburb--I like it here. She wanted to start going to some meetings--I wanted to spend time only as a family. She wanted to go back to work, I wanted her to watch the kids--maybe have another.
I didn't here Kaye come into our room until she spoke, "I want some water, Daddy". I nearly kicked the bucket of a heart-attack. I put the syringe on the nightstand, she didn't see it.
"What are you doing, up?" I asked.
"Bad dreams, daddy. They were chasing us. They wanted to get us."
"It was just a dream, honey. Let's get some water, then back to sleep." I told her, as I led her by the hand to the bathroom. "I'm here, I'll protect you. I won't let anyone hurt you, O-Kaye?"
"Uh-huh." She sipped some water from her Little Mermaid cup.
I walked her back to bed, tucked her in, kissed her on the forehead, "I love you, Kaye."
I carefully filled the syringe, just because I was about to kill her, that didn't mean I didn't still love her. I didn't want her to suffer. We had had thirteen good years together, two beautiful children--girls. Big beautiful brown eyes like her.
She was asleep and probably would not feel anything. In the morning, she wouldn't show up for work. The girls would not be at school. We would be driving south to Nevada in the rebuilt Ford Bronco that is sitting in a storage unit 2 hours from here. It has Wisconsin plates on it right now--soon to switched over to Colorado plates. I have enough cash to get us out of the country. No ATMs, no credit cards, no cell phone, no computer, we will be invisible and un-trackable.
Watching her breath--slow in, out, in, out. She looked deceptively peaceful and, hard to believe, harmless. But just more of her deception, her lies, her falsehoods, her arrogance, her manipulations, her...evilness.
If I'm going to do this, I better do it now. She is wiped out from a hard week of work. We have a three-day holiday weekend--we might be able to make it to Mexico before anyone realizes we're gone. I may never get the courage up again, I may end up living with this monster for the rest of my life if I don't take action now, tonight, I'll regret it for the rest of my life.
"Goodbye, Love", I say out loud before kissing her forehead. I start to cry gently. I never wanted things to go this way. I tried to fix our problems but she wanted things her way. We couldn't agree on anything lately. She wanted to get married, I didn't think we should bother. She wanted to move out of the city, to the suburb--I like it here. She wanted to start going to some meetings--I wanted to spend time only as a family. She wanted to go back to work, I wanted her to watch the kids--maybe have another.
I didn't here Kaye come into our room until she spoke, "I want some water, Daddy". I nearly kicked the bucket of a heart-attack. I put the syringe on the nightstand, she didn't see it.
"What are you doing, up?" I asked.
"Bad dreams, daddy. They were chasing us. They wanted to get us."
"It was just a dream, honey. Let's get some water, then back to sleep." I told her, as I led her by the hand to the bathroom. "I'm here, I'll protect you. I won't let anyone hurt you, O-Kaye?"
"Uh-huh." She sipped some water from her Little Mermaid cup.
I walked her back to bed, tucked her in, kissed her on the forehead, "I love you, Kaye."
