For reasons that cannot be rationalized, I believe that I will fail. Does there exist any rationality in this situation? Is my incompetence rational? Do the vicissitudes of life regard me as an enemy because I cannot regard it in an equitable manner?
All of my academic endeavors have resulted in shambles, diminutive pathetic iterations of what could have been. I am radically consumed with animosity for those whose accomplishments are substantial and recognized by the public. Because I have maintained my academic integrity, I not held in the same regard or respect; it is as though morality holds no significance anymore. I despise everyone save those whom I admire profoundly; and yet that is not a defining attribute of many individuals.
It is not that I am emotionless and stoic; it is because many individuals do not warrant my empathic and amicable sentiments, because they are not reciprocated. The preceding year has shaped and formulated much of the philosophies that are to accompany and guide me in the subsequent months; when I am accepted to an honorable institution, I shall hope that these amicable and empathic sentiments can be extended to a greater circle of individuals. Circumstances shall improve, but it takes time for such contentment to manifest itself in external surroundings.
Ever since I was a child, I have formulated the plan for myself in conjunction with God's will. I hope that I have followed this ulterior mandate consistently and performed with great aplomb; however, certain deviations of this plan have greatly affected my constitution, and confidence to proceed in manifesting this ulterior mandate. Sometimes, things do not always occur in the manner that is most desirable. We are but mere mortals; the superior being, who resides in the heavens above, knows what is best for us. Therefore, we must refrain from setting all of our hope upon the actualization of this plan; we must refrain from setting inflexible maxims.
And yet I fear that in spite of my best intentions, all of my accomplishments shall ultimately result in nothing. My dreams of attending an honorable institution shall not manifest themselves; I will be caught within the nexus of mediocrity that is to encircle my life. And there is nothing I can do to modify the situation. All correctional action must derive from a higher power.
I think that the time has come to pray.
All of my academic endeavors have resulted in shambles, diminutive pathetic iterations of what could have been. I am radically consumed with animosity for those whose accomplishments are substantial and recognized by the public. Because I have maintained my academic integrity, I not held in the same regard or respect; it is as though morality holds no significance anymore. I despise everyone save those whom I admire profoundly; and yet that is not a defining attribute of many individuals.
It is not that I am emotionless and stoic; it is because many individuals do not warrant my empathic and amicable sentiments, because they are not reciprocated. The preceding year has shaped and formulated much of the philosophies that are to accompany and guide me in the subsequent months; when I am accepted to an honorable institution, I shall hope that these amicable and empathic sentiments can be extended to a greater circle of individuals. Circumstances shall improve, but it takes time for such contentment to manifest itself in external surroundings.
Ever since I was a child, I have formulated the plan for myself in conjunction with God's will. I hope that I have followed this ulterior mandate consistently and performed with great aplomb; however, certain deviations of this plan have greatly affected my constitution, and confidence to proceed in manifesting this ulterior mandate. Sometimes, things do not always occur in the manner that is most desirable. We are but mere mortals; the superior being, who resides in the heavens above, knows what is best for us. Therefore, we must refrain from setting all of our hope upon the actualization of this plan; we must refrain from setting inflexible maxims.
And yet I fear that in spite of my best intentions, all of my accomplishments shall ultimately result in nothing. My dreams of attending an honorable institution shall not manifest themselves; I will be caught within the nexus of mediocrity that is to encircle my life. And there is nothing I can do to modify the situation. All correctional action must derive from a higher power.
I think that the time has come to pray.
