It is the beginning of a new stage in my life, a dayly work of writing something new.
Many could think it is an deadly attempt to boost my creative mind but I think it is a safeguard to my laziness and idleness of every day.
These last days I was looking for a nice writer who could motivate my inner desires to pass more time reading classics and get more meaningful ideas and words for myself but i was desperately sad, i couldnt be able to find him, or at least reading in english is not so meaningful as reading in my mother tongue. However, I didnt give up. I will still keep trying to find someone who really deserve my attention and my time. Lately I am obsessed with time but at the same it is a mortal weapon to my mind and will to advance something crucial in my life. People often expect more from me, more feelings detached, more words of support and more time to be involved in a kind of relationship, but I cant, I always say to myself I am really busy but I know in the backgrounds I am not busy at all, I just use many excuses and false ideas to make myself believe in that I am really ocupied doing something important. And a consequence I see time pass and I still stay at the same place, investing time in doing stupid stuff and spending time on not as rewarding activities. When the daylight is fading away, I feel a desire to go out and look for a relaxation time as if I had a really productive day, and I lie on the benches of the central park watching birds and people come and gone, some idles like me and some really in a hurry for arriving at a certain place and executing something vital.
I look at them carefully by trying to descifre what they are like, or how their lives are and why they live life in such a letal appreciation of time. I think we always live thinking of the future , even though we consume Coello's book in which he mentions the importance of living in the present, we cant retain those basic information in our minds, and we still live in the future, expecting a better life as we could hold , smell , possess that elusive future.
Sometimes when i see those people I feel disgust for life, for being alive, for being one more mortal human being, for knowing I am dying a little every minute and we cant do anything. I spend my time on thinking about my mortality instead of living it and learning to live and be concious of my dead and learning to dead and accept it completely. I read that this kind of evasion of reality and procastination for facing things that could bring us to anywhere instead of being rooted to a time and space is inhereted, and I could see this characteristic in my mother, she is like me, she avoids facing issues that could make her feel uncomfortable and she always try to move away the due date of the taskes she must do.
Many could think it is an deadly attempt to boost my creative mind but I think it is a safeguard to my laziness and idleness of every day.
These last days I was looking for a nice writer who could motivate my inner desires to pass more time reading classics and get more meaningful ideas and words for myself but i was desperately sad, i couldnt be able to find him, or at least reading in english is not so meaningful as reading in my mother tongue. However, I didnt give up. I will still keep trying to find someone who really deserve my attention and my time. Lately I am obsessed with time but at the same it is a mortal weapon to my mind and will to advance something crucial in my life. People often expect more from me, more feelings detached, more words of support and more time to be involved in a kind of relationship, but I cant, I always say to myself I am really busy but I know in the backgrounds I am not busy at all, I just use many excuses and false ideas to make myself believe in that I am really ocupied doing something important. And a consequence I see time pass and I still stay at the same place, investing time in doing stupid stuff and spending time on not as rewarding activities. When the daylight is fading away, I feel a desire to go out and look for a relaxation time as if I had a really productive day, and I lie on the benches of the central park watching birds and people come and gone, some idles like me and some really in a hurry for arriving at a certain place and executing something vital.
I look at them carefully by trying to descifre what they are like, or how their lives are and why they live life in such a letal appreciation of time. I think we always live thinking of the future , even though we consume Coello's book in which he mentions the importance of living in the present, we cant retain those basic information in our minds, and we still live in the future, expecting a better life as we could hold , smell , possess that elusive future.
Sometimes when i see those people I feel disgust for life, for being alive, for being one more mortal human being, for knowing I am dying a little every minute and we cant do anything. I spend my time on thinking about my mortality instead of living it and learning to live and be concious of my dead and learning to dead and accept it completely. I read that this kind of evasion of reality and procastination for facing things that could bring us to anywhere instead of being rooted to a time and space is inhereted, and I could see this characteristic in my mother, she is like me, she avoids facing issues that could make her feel uncomfortable and she always try to move away the due date of the taskes she must do.
