"Theo! Thank God I found you. You look terrible."
"Thanks" I said sarcastically.
"No, seriously, you've got a knife sticking out of your head."
Feeling up the side of my head, I find the cold steel handle, and prepare to pull.
"No!" cried the strange rainbow man "Are you crazy?"
"I'm dead, aren't I? So pulling it won't kill me. I can't spend eternity in Heaven with a knife in my head, THAT'S crazy."
"Erm." the man began slowly, "You're not dead, well, not officially, yet."
"Yet?"
"My boss sent me, he told me that this is not how you die, there's been a major screw-up in the Mortality department. And, this isn't Heaven."
"Whoa, I'm not dead?" I feel rather flummoxed.
"No, not quite. They're working on you now."
I take 'they' to mean A&E staff. Where else would a man with a knife in his head go?
"They think you're a gonna. But you're gonna go down there and scare the living daylights out of them instead."
"I'm going back?"
"Of course. We have a mission for you. That man, the one who tried to kill you? He knows what this misson is, what it entails. That's why he assassinated you. He doesn't want you to succeed."
"What's the mission?"
"The man who killed you, or didn't kill you, whatever, is a wizard. There's nothing he wants more than for people, just like you, to be used to satisfy himself. He upsets people, makes them cry, makes them hurt, so that he can feed on their misery. He forces them into such anguish, all the time trying to make them, well, kill themselves"
Rainbow man looked sheepish at this point.
"You need to defeat him. The suffering will never stop, until he is dead. You are the one to do this."
My brain shivered again. I didn't like the sound of this.
"But, he's a wizard. And I'm just me."
"I know, it seems incredible, but you must do it. There's no other way, and no other person who can do it."
He handed me a small leather bag.
"This is what you'll need. This is all you'll need."
"Thanks" I said sarcastically.
"No, seriously, you've got a knife sticking out of your head."
Feeling up the side of my head, I find the cold steel handle, and prepare to pull.
"No!" cried the strange rainbow man "Are you crazy?"
"I'm dead, aren't I? So pulling it won't kill me. I can't spend eternity in Heaven with a knife in my head, THAT'S crazy."
"Erm." the man began slowly, "You're not dead, well, not officially, yet."
"Yet?"
"My boss sent me, he told me that this is not how you die, there's been a major screw-up in the Mortality department. And, this isn't Heaven."
"Whoa, I'm not dead?" I feel rather flummoxed.
"No, not quite. They're working on you now."
I take 'they' to mean A&E staff. Where else would a man with a knife in his head go?
"They think you're a gonna. But you're gonna go down there and scare the living daylights out of them instead."
"I'm going back?"
"Of course. We have a mission for you. That man, the one who tried to kill you? He knows what this misson is, what it entails. That's why he assassinated you. He doesn't want you to succeed."
"What's the mission?"
"The man who killed you, or didn't kill you, whatever, is a wizard. There's nothing he wants more than for people, just like you, to be used to satisfy himself. He upsets people, makes them cry, makes them hurt, so that he can feed on their misery. He forces them into such anguish, all the time trying to make them, well, kill themselves"
Rainbow man looked sheepish at this point.
"You need to defeat him. The suffering will never stop, until he is dead. You are the one to do this."
My brain shivered again. I didn't like the sound of this.
"But, he's a wizard. And I'm just me."
"I know, it seems incredible, but you must do it. There's no other way, and no other person who can do it."
He handed me a small leather bag.
"This is what you'll need. This is all you'll need."
