we lit the fireworks and as we stood there watching them burn i very well knew that I wasnt going to hear from him again for a very very long time. I think he was thinking the same thing too.
There I stood losing another friend due to my impractical, stubborn, ridiculous heart.
i was thinking it should be such an insult to these two to be "competing" with wesley when he doesnt "try" or "do" 1/5th of what these guys have. Even I should be pretty ashamed of this lol. But how do you reason with emotions? >.> that's a paradox.
7.6.11
I hate diaries, but I guess if we call this a blog it changes everything no?
I say I hate them because they are linked to overly dramatic girly rants. not saying that's not what I'm going to do here.. but I'll try to stray away from that.
Today was great. Last night like at 10pm I was hurt that I hadn't heard from wesley anymore again so i let him have it lol, told him that I wasnt sure what his reason was for a lack of everything and that although i wasnt upset, i knew for once that i was sure it wasnt because of me, that he had the wrong idea about everything. He said he just wanted space and that he wanted this to happen less and less with everyday. He felt obligued to talk to me..which is never EVER supposed to feel that way. I could talk to Alecks every single day without needing space from him it was wonderful. i miss him very much. Anyway, he said that and I knew then that it just wasn't meant to work at all, it couldnt. He said he wanted to just stay friends and I said yes, but that that's all it'll eve be now. It ended well i suppose. I just feel so relieved...i don't want to ever have to think about why he doesnt want to talk to me about anything he weas just so different from me. It didn't help that I had Jorge and Chris and others that loove to text me everyday and he was being completely cold..either way i'm good now. -oof-
We had the fiu practice today for the Bahamas trip. Wesley was acting very normal it was good to know we could do that. but im pretty sure he was seeking attention and i'm not
There I stood losing another friend due to my impractical, stubborn, ridiculous heart.
i was thinking it should be such an insult to these two to be "competing" with wesley when he doesnt "try" or "do" 1/5th of what these guys have. Even I should be pretty ashamed of this lol. But how do you reason with emotions? >.> that's a paradox.
7.6.11
I hate diaries, but I guess if we call this a blog it changes everything no?
I say I hate them because they are linked to overly dramatic girly rants. not saying that's not what I'm going to do here.. but I'll try to stray away from that.
Today was great. Last night like at 10pm I was hurt that I hadn't heard from wesley anymore again so i let him have it lol, told him that I wasnt sure what his reason was for a lack of everything and that although i wasnt upset, i knew for once that i was sure it wasnt because of me, that he had the wrong idea about everything. He said he just wanted space and that he wanted this to happen less and less with everyday. He felt obligued to talk to me..which is never EVER supposed to feel that way. I could talk to Alecks every single day without needing space from him it was wonderful. i miss him very much. Anyway, he said that and I knew then that it just wasn't meant to work at all, it couldnt. He said he wanted to just stay friends and I said yes, but that that's all it'll eve be now. It ended well i suppose. I just feel so relieved...i don't want to ever have to think about why he doesnt want to talk to me about anything he weas just so different from me. It didn't help that I had Jorge and Chris and others that loove to text me everyday and he was being completely cold..either way i'm good now. -oof-
We had the fiu practice today for the Bahamas trip. Wesley was acting very normal it was good to know we could do that. but im pretty sure he was seeking attention and i'm not
